The Office

Michael Scott Quotes (Page 77)

Michael: And remember no matter what, I will always love you.
Dwight: What if he's a murderer?
Michael: He's not going to be a murderer.
Dwight: Maybe that's how you die.
Michael: You know what, Dwight, do you want to do this, or no?
Dwight: I want to do this.
Michael: Okay. From the top. Ready? Three-
Dwight: Action.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Number eight, learn how to take off a woman's bra.
Pam: What?
Michael: We will demonstrate on Pam.
Pam: No. No.
Michael: Come on.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: To jump start a car, first pop the hood. Then you take these bad boys and clip them anywhere on the engine. Then you take these and clip them wherever.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: Here are some things that I want to teach you that your mother won't be able to.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hello son. If you're watching this, that means I'm already dead. Life is a road-
Dwight: How do you know it's going to be a boy?
Michael: How, would you stop interrupting please?
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Guys! Beef: it's what's for dinner! Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: It takes a big man to admit his mistake and that's what I did. The important thing is I learned something. I don't want somebody sucking up to me because they think I'm going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me. Hmm.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: I really have no preference. We don't even have to have a party.
Michael: No, hey, hey. Don't be ridiculous. Of course we are going to have a party. A celebration of Oscar. Oscar night. And I want it to be Oscar-specific.
Oscar: Michael --
Michael: No, no, no. I mean, not because you're gay. Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you to me. And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyllis... I want you to go find firecrackers. And a Chihuahua. Pam, in the frozen food section, Swanson makes a delightful chimichanga.
Oscar: Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey into the office like Pepe.
Michael: Ah, a burro, of course. If Oscar wants a donkey, let's get him one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Love that Andy, right? Solid fellow. Seems smart enough. Likes me a lot. A lot. Too much. Like a crazy person. A little. Not super crazy... just... there's something about him that creeps me out. I can't really explain it. He's always up in my bidness. Which is ebonics for "being in my face and annoying the bejesus out of me." I don't understand how someone could have so little self-awareness.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: Hey, boss.
Michael: Hey, what's up.
Andy: Noooothin'. Ehrrrrrrrrr. Heh. Man. TGI-Wednesday. Am I right?
Michael: Yep.
Andy: Gonna go home. Get my beer on. Get my "Lost" on. What are you doing later, wanna hang out?
Michael: I don't know. Maybe.
Andy: Well, I will take that as a maybe.
 • Rating: Unrated

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