Michael Scott Quotes (Page 80)
Season 3, Episode 9: "The Convict"
Michael: What was the worst part about prison? The dementors. They flew around and sucked out your soul. and it hurt.
• Rating: 4.2 / 5.0
Michael: Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special. Baseball cap on backwards. Baggy pants. He says something ordinary, like 'Yo, that's shizzle.' Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who were you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Michael: You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop da soap. Don't drop da soap.
Ryan: Michael, please.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Michael: You show me a white man you trust, and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam, tell me a white person you trust.
Pam: My dad.
Michael: Danny Glover.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Angela: Sure. Let's protect the convicts. At the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.
Michael: Good.
• Rating: Unrated
Michael: Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy. Who went to prison for... polluting a black guy's lake.
• Rating: Unrated
Michael: I didn't hire an ex-convict. Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Michael: Hey! Look at me! I'm a baby! I'm one of those babies from Look Who's Talking! What am I thinking? Look at all those staplers! What's a stapler? I don't even know- I'm a baby! Hey Mom! I'm thirsty! I'm thirsty, Momma! I want some milk! And you know where milk comes from: breasts!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 8: "Branch Closing"
Michael: [waiting outside CFO's house] What are we still doing here? It's over. Let's go home, get the car. Ohhh, this was such a stupid idea. This was so stupid. [cries] I'm such a stupid idiot. I let everybody down. Everybody hates me. I lost everybody's jobs. Nobody likes me anymore!
Dwight: [checks his phone] OH MY GOD!
Michael: What?
Dwight: Stamford is closed! Michael, we're not closed! Stamford is closed!
Michael: Stamford is closed?! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! How did we do it?
Dwight: I don't... have no idea.
Michael: I don't understand.
• Rating: Unrated
Toby: Michael, uh, we shouldn't be talking about this until all the decisions have been made.
Michael: You knew about this all along, didn't you?
Toby: Jan told me just a few minutes before she told you.
Michael: Traitor. You are a traitor.
• Rating: Unrated
Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 1012
