Michael Scott Quotes (Page 81)
Season 3, Episode 8: "Branch Closing"
Michael: Um, listen up everybody, I have some news... We are screwed. Dunder Mifflin Scranton is being shut down.
• Rating: Unrated
Michael: It is an outrage, that's all. They're making a huge, huge mistake. Let's see Josh replace these people. Let's see Josh find another Stanley. You think Stanleys grow on trees? Well they don't. There is no Stanley tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Phyllises? Show me that farm. With Phyllises and Kevins sprouting up all over the place. Ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm.
• Rating: Unrated
Jan: Our CFO believes that Josh is going to play an important role in our company's future.
Michael: Oh really, what role is that? King of the stupid universe?
• Rating: Unrated
Jan: A small number of people will be transferred to the Stamford branch, and the rest will be getting severance packages.
Michael: Am I a small number person or a severance package person?
Jan: Well, we haven't made final decisions about personnel yet... but you're a severance package person.
• Rating: Unrated
Jan: I am here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch.
Michael: I don't understand.
Jan: The board voted last night to close your branch.
Michael: On whose authority?
Jan: The board's.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 7: "The Merger"
Michael: Sometimes what brings the kids together is hating the lunch lady. Although that'll change. Because, by the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Michael: This is an orientation, not a bore-ientation.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Michael: You know who I really like? Is this guy Andy Bernard. He has got this very likeable way about him.
• Rating: Unrated
Andy: Hello.
Michael: Ah, you must be Andy Bernard. Aloha and welcome!
Andy: And you must be Michael Scott. Aloha and hel-lo!
• Rating: Unrated
Michael: My branch is absorbing the Stamford branch. Or as I like to put it, my family is doubling in size.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 1012
