Dwight: Diwali is a celebration of the coronation of the God-king Rama, after his epic battle with Ravina, the demon-king of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil.
Michael: All right, all right. This isn't Lord of the Rings.

Kelly: Um, Diwali is awesome. And there's food, and there's gonna be dancing. And, oh, I got the raddest outfit. It has, um, sparkles-
Michael: Kelly? Um, why don't you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday?
Kelly: Oh, um, I don't know. It's really old, I think.
Angela: How many gods do you have?
Kelly: Like hundreds, I think. Maybe more than that.
Angela: And that blue busty gal? What's her story?
Kevin: She looks like Pam from the neck down.
Dwight: Pam wishes.

I love the people here, and if there's one thing I don't really care for, its that they can be terribly terribly ignorant about other cultures. And I don't want them embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend, Carol.

Michael: It's important that this company celebrates its diversity. You know what, Stanley? Come Kwanzaa time, I have got you covered, baby!
Stanley: I don't celebrate Kwanzaa.
Michael: Wh- Really? You should! It's fun!

Indians do not eat monkey brains! And if they do... sign me up! Because I am sure that they are very tasty and nutritional.

Michael

Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community. "What is Diwali?" you may ask. Well, to have Kelly explain it, "It's, blah blah blah blah. It's so super, fun, and it's gonna be great!" Lot of gods with unpronouncable names. Twenty minutes later, you find out that it is essentially a Hindu Halloween.

Michael: Nice dress, Ryan.
Kelly: It's not a dress, it's a kurtha!
Michael: [laughing] Oh, okay.

Michael: [eating pretzel] It tastes so good in my mouth.
Stanley: That's what she said.

Society teaches us that, having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.

Michael
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