Season 6, Episode 7: "The Lover"
Jim: Okay, as far as dinner tonight, cancel that. And please, for both of our sakes, never, ever, ever see her again.Michael: I think you're underestimating Pam. I think more than anything she wants me to be happy.
Jim: No. Not more than anything.
Michael: Ok. I have a good thing with the mom.
Jim: Don't call her the mom.
Michael: She's right on my way home from work.
Jim: THEN TAKE A DIFFERENT WAY HOME MAN!
Michael: Alright! I'll take service streets.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Michael: [to Pam] You're just as stubborn as your mom - when you don't want to do something, you just don't do it.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 6, Episode 6: "Mafia"
Andy: What happened in there?Michael: Nothing. Other than once again I am thankful that I am a paper salesman.
Dwight: Did he threaten you?
Michael: No Dwight, not everything is a threat.
Andy: Mobsters are!
Michael: There is no such thing as monsters.
Andy: He drives an SUV.
Dwight: I knew it! More trunk-space. Or should I say corpse space.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Ok too many different words from coming at me from too many different sentences.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: If there is one thing I hate more than the mafia is a liar. I wish the mafia would go out and kill all the liars. Bury them in my yard. And I wouldn't tell the cops a thing. Not that I would be lying per se but I would just get really quiet all of a sudden.
• Rating: 9.7 / 10 • Permalink
Michael: I will have the spaghetti. With a side salad.
Waitress: Ok.
Michael: If the salad is on top, I send it back.
• Rating: 9.7 / 10 • Permalink
Michael: There is nothing more insulting to a great salesman than having to listen to a bad salesman. It's like a great basketball player having to listen to a bad basketball player.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Michael: Hi. Sorry. Crazy day. You've seen how the sausage gets made, come in the conference room and I will show you a finished sausage.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: What you people don't know, about business I could fill a book with.
Ryan: Then do it.
Michael: What.
Ryan: Write a book.
[cut to Michael in his office]
Michael: The Fundamentals of Business by Michael Scott. Over one billion sold. More than the Bible. I'm not surprised. Chapter one...
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Erin. Coffee.
Erin: Ok.
Michael: Not from the kitchen. Stop & Shop. If it's not Stop & Shop I send it back. Large. If it's a medium I send it back. If it's an extra-large I send it back.
Erin: How do you return coffee?
Michael: Go.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 868
