Michael: A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meredith or Kevin, I mean who's going to give Kevin an award, Dunkin' Donuts? Plus, bonus, it's really really funny. So I, you know, an employee will go home, and he'll tell his neighbor, "Hey, did you get an award?" And the neighbor will say, "No man. I mean I slave all day and nobody notices me." Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from the neighbor's house. Neighbor's hanged himself, due to lack of recognition. • Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Coffee is a drug. It is quite literally a drug. It speeds people up. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder-Mifflin in the '80s before people knew how bad cocaine was... gahhhh, man did they move paper!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ryan: [helping clean out Michael's car] What about this bottle of power drink on the back seat.
Michael: What flavor?
Ryan: Blue.
Michael: Blue is not a flavor.
Ryan: It says: "Flavor: Blue Blast."
Michael: Ooh, Blue Blast. Put that in the left cup holder...
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Hey Pam, how would you like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some uh pigtails, little ah, halter top you could tie that up. And, you know, some little, just youthful for a change, just this once.
Pam: I don't think so Michael. Besides, I can't cheer against my fiancé.
Jim: I'll do it. Wear a little flouncy skirt if you want, and ...
Michael: Yeah i bet you would, just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad at sports way. I think that goes without saying.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: Maybe Angela would cheerlead.
Michael: Oh, yeah right.
Phyllis: I'll do it.
Michael: Oh, yuck, that's worse than you playing.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: I know, grumble, grumble. But you would follow me to the ends of the earth, grumbling all the way. Like that dwarf from Lord of the Rings.
Dwight: Gimli.
Michael: Nerd. That is why you're not on the team.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: And this is the foreman. Mis-dah Ra-jahs.
Darryl: It's not my real name.
Michael: No, it's Darryl. Darryl is Mis-da Ra-jahs.
Ryan: Darryl Rogers?
Darryl: Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mis-dah Ra-jahs.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: Please don't throw garbage at me.
Michael: Pam with the zinger!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Oscar: I can play if you need any help.
Michael: I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we box.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 806
