Trust me Bart, it's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them.

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Mr. Burns: I specifically said, no geeks!
Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool...

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Mr. Burns: Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.
Milhouse: (to his mom and dad) I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.

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Did you ever wonder if hippopotamuses think that rhinos are unicorns?

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Bart and Lisa: (Singing dull) Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
Grampa: Sing it like you mean it!
(Grampa plays harmonica and the kids sing it with style.)
Bart and Lisa: What kind of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?
Bart: Fat kids.
Lisa: Skinny kids.
Bart: Kids who climb on rocks.
Lisa: Tough kids.
Bart: Sissy kids.
Milhouse: (Sticks head from the window.) Even kids with chicken pox love--
Family: Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
(Grampa stops playing harmonica.) The dogs kids love to bite!
Lisa: Doesn't this family know any songs that aren't commercials?
(Everyone except Lisa starts singing the "Chicken Tonight" jingle.)

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Bart: (seeing his reflection in Milhouse's glasses) I'm a nerd!
Milhouse: (seeing his reflection in Bart's glasses) So am I!

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Martin: Milhouse, I'd like to express my appreciation for Saturday. Jelly bean basket, personalized noisemakers. But the little touches are what made it enduring!
Bart: What's he talking about?
Milhouse: Uh... Hey! Look at that dog! Isn't that something!
Bart: Wow, brown!

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Bart: Oh boy! Free trading cards!
Milhouse: Wow! Joseph of Arimathea! 26 conversions in A.D. 46.
Nelson: Whoa, a Methuselah rookie card!
Flanders: (chuckles) Well boys, who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?
Bart: Religion?
Milhouse: Learning?
Nelson: Let's get out of here!

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Nelson: I want you to keep filling your shirt with crud until I get back.
Milhouse: Yes, sir.

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Moe: Get your throwing stuff! Turn the protest into a riot!
Milhouse: How much for a tomato?
Moe: Fresh stuff for a dollar. Rotten is two bucks.
Kirk: Son, do you really need the rotten? I mean, it's not like you're actually gonna hit him.

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(Bart and Milhouse say goodbye, as Bart is headed off to Capital City.)
Milhouse: I don't know, Bart. I mean, I'm gonna miss you and all, but--
Bart: Come on, Milhouse. This way we'll be friends forever.
Milhouse: Wellokay.
(Bart and Milhouse spit on each other's hands and shake.)
Bart and Milhouse: (In unison) Eeeew!
Bart: I'm gonna miss you, spit brother.
Milhouse: I'm gonna miss you, spit brother.

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Trab pu kcip! Trab pu kcip!

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