Milhouse: Lisa, if I don't make it back, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.
Lisa: I've already read it.
Principal Skinner: We've all read it.

Milhouse: I got it! I got it!
Bart: (catching the ball) I hogged it! I hogged it!

Bart: Anything I can get for you, Lady Milhouse?
Milhouse: I'm not a lady! It's a spell! A spell you said you'd reverse!

(Marge discovers that Milhouse is a girl)
Marge: Why, Milhouse. Don't you look lovely.
Milhouse: (Angrily) It's a spell! (Sweetly) And thank you.

They say that Dark Stanley will kill you, then go wee-wee in your skull.

Having a weapon at school has really made things awesome.

Trust me Bart, it's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them.

Milhouse: Bart, can we go to Banana Republic? There's a mannequin there I have a crush on.
Bart: Milhouse, that is the most pathetic thing I've ever . . . (sees mannequin) Oh my God, she's beautiful!

Bart: Finally someone who does whatever I say!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart. I shaved my head like you told me.
Bart: Get lost!
Milhouse: Yes, master!

(In her car, Marge picks up Milhouse for school.)
Milhouse: I brought my own car seat. Look!
(Milhouse straps himself in.)
Milhouse: Hey, Lisa, my safety bar matches your eyes. (Laughs)

(Fat Tony drives the school carpool home.)
Fat Tony: Milhouse, may I borrow your three-ring binder?
(Milhouse holds up two binders.)
Milhouse: Garfield or Love Is...?"
Fat Tony: Uh, I prefer the cat. He hates Mondays. We can all relate.

(After Krusty announces that he's searching for a new Krusketeer)
Bart: I am so gonna try out for that!
Milhouse: Me too! But I hope you get it.
Bart: No, I hope you get it.
Milhouse: Well, I really hope you get it.
Bart: Yeah, I hope I get it too. Later!
(Bart leaves)
Milhouse: (in awe) For a second there, he hoped I got it.

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart