Milhouse: Mr. Simpson I'm scared.
Homer: This is our life now Milhouse, we're dumpster folk!

Milhouse: Lisa, if I don't make it back, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.
Lisa: I've already read it.
Principal Skinner: We've all read it.

Milhouse: I got it! I got it!
Bart: (catching the ball) I hogged it! I hogged it!

Bart: Anything I can get for you, Lady Milhouse?
Milhouse: I'm not a lady! It's a spell! A spell you said you'd reverse!

(Marge discovers that Milhouse is a girl)
Marge: Why, Milhouse. Don't you look lovely.
Milhouse: (Angrily) It's a spell! (Sweetly) And thank you.

They say that Dark Stanley will kill you, then go wee-wee in your skull.

Having a weapon at school has really made things awesome.

Trust me Bart, it's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them.

Milhouse: Bart, can we go to Banana Republic? There's a mannequin there I have a crush on.
Bart: Milhouse, that is the most pathetic thing I've ever . . . (sees mannequin) Oh my God, she's beautiful!

Bart: Finally someone who does whatever I say!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart. I shaved my head like you told me.
Bart: Get lost!
Milhouse: Yes, master!

(In her car, Marge picks up Milhouse for school.)
Milhouse: I brought my own car seat. Look!
(Milhouse straps himself in.)
Milhouse: Hey, Lisa, my safety bar matches your eyes. (Laughs)

(Fat Tony drives the school carpool home.)
Fat Tony: Milhouse, may I borrow your three-ring binder?
(Milhouse holds up two binders.)
Milhouse: Garfield or Love Is...?"
Fat Tony: Uh, I prefer the cat. He hates Mondays. We can all relate.

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.


Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!