Milhouse Van Houten Quotes
(After Krusty announces that he's searching for a new Krusketeer)
Bart: I am so gonna try out for that!
Milhouse: Me too! But I hope you get it.
Bart: No, I hope you get it.
Milhouse: Well, I really hope you get it.
Bart: Yeah, I hope I get it too. Later!
Milhouse: (in awe) For a second there, he hoped I got it.
Comic Book Guy: Nice work, Doctor Boo-Who. Your tears have smudged Wolverine's iconic sideburns. Hence, you must buy this comic. And the cost of your innocent accident is... 25 dollars, please.
Milhouse: But that's the money Yaya Sophia gave me for Greek Orthodox Easter.
Comic Book Guy: (Sighs) I hate when they tell me things about themselves.
Milhouse: Mr. Moore, will you sign my DVD of Watchmen Babies? Which of the babies is your favorite?
Alan Moore: You see what those bloody corporations do? They take your ideas and they suck them! Suck them like leeches until they've gotten every last drop of marrow from your bones!
Oh, my God! I've become the world's oldest baby. Men don't get their moo-moo from a baa-baa. They get their moo-moo from a big-boy cup!</i> Milhouse
(Bart uses an exact-o knife to extract the word "whore" from the Bible and he pins it up on his bulletin board along with a few others.)
Bart: We can say these swears anytime we want because they're in the Bible!
Milhouse: I don't think "Leviticus" is a swear.
Bart: Shut the hell up, you damn ass whore!
Minnesota Vikings apparel? This is Tennessee Titans country!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart. I think I have a crush on your new sister.
Bart: You had a crush on my old sister.
Milhouse: Yeah, but that wasn't going to happen.
Bart: I'll be the demon. You be the thimble.
Milhouse: Aw, I'm always the thimble.
Milhouse: Satan's path?
Bart: It's gotta be good if Satan put his name on it.
how about a bench warmer who's afraid of puppets?
Bart: I'm going to keep the Mary Worth phone right here. Her stern but sensible face will remind me never to do anything so stupid again.
(it rings and Bart answers it)
Milhouse: Hey Bart, you want to go play with that X-ray machine in the abandoned hospital?
Bart and Lisa: (Singing dull) Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
Grampa: Sing it like you mean it!
(Grampa plays harmonica and the kids sing it with style.)
Bart and Lisa: What kind of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?
Bart: Fat kids.
Lisa: Skinny kids.
Bart: Kids who climb on rocks.
Lisa: Tough kids.
Bart: Sissy kids.
Milhouse: (Sticks head from the window.) Even kids with chicken pox love--
Family: Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
(Grampa stops playing harmonica.) The dogs kids love to bite!
Lisa: Doesn't this family know any songs that aren't commercials?
(Everyone except Lisa starts singing the "Chicken Tonight" jingle.)