Tuesdays 10:00 PM on MTV
Awkward

Welcome to karma-geddon bitch.

Ming: Asians aren't magic, they don't have control over everything.
Jenna: Yes they do. Why do you think our school flag has a dragon on it?

Put those crazy eyes somewhere else I’ll fix it!

Jenna: Is there something you want to tell me? Because I'm pretty sure Viera is of the Ellen variety.
Ming: Going with a girlfriend was the only way my parents would let me go so if I have to let her feel me up at the end of the night I'm down for the cause.

It's a good day to be Asian.

Tamara: Am I cockblocking?
Ming: Yes!

Tamara: Holy sh*t!
Ming: Holy sh*t!
Jenna: You are supposed to be calming me down!
Tamara: I am sorry J, but holy sh*t!

Jenna: What kind of day are we looking at? Lunch in the bathroom?
Ming: Nope, I'm clear for quad exposure. I'm back in with the mafia, big time. They got my parents to buy me a car.
Jenna: You're kidding, why?
Ming: It's a peace offering. Becca's scared sh*tless of you, and by proxy now me.
Jenna: Why is she scared of me?
Tamara: Putting yourself up for public consumption is like batshizat on crack. You're the scariest kind of loose canon Jenna you're a suicide bomber.

I asked a White Bitch for Asian Bitch advice! Fuck me!

The Asians? I'm not eating lunch with those people.

Becca: What I don't know is, are you a cool Asian or a school Asian? What are your PSAT scores?
Ming: 120.
Becca: Low. You're not a school Asian. Have you ever spring break-ed in Cabo, downed Adderall, or had an affair with the lead singer of an indie rock band?
Ming: No.
Becca: Not a cool Asian either.
Ming: So what am I?
Becca: White.

Fred: Are you familiar with the difference between a White bitch and an Asian bitch? When a White bitch is after you she's in your face: loud, angry, making sure she knows that you're responsible for your destruction. The Asian bitch...
Ming: derives from the way of the Ninja. They're everywhere and nowhere, all stealth, you never see an Asian bitch coming.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 21 in total

Awkward Quotes

Without the bad days we can never appreciate the good ones, and, there are so many good days coming your way. Just do me a favor, forgive yourself like you forgave me.

Lacey

Hey! Stop! Don't touch me there that sir is my no no square.

Lissa
×