Welcome to karma-geddon bitch.

Ming: Asians aren't magic, they don't have control over everything.
Jenna: Yes they do. Why do you think our school flag has a dragon on it?

Put those crazy eyes somewhere else I’ll fix it!

Jenna: Is there something you want to tell me? Because I'm pretty sure Viera is of the Ellen variety.
Ming: Going with a girlfriend was the only way my parents would let me go so if I have to let her feel me up at the end of the night I'm down for the cause.

It's a good day to be Asian.

Tamara: Am I cockblocking?
Ming: Yes!

Tamara: Holy sh*t!
Ming: Holy sh*t!
Jenna: You are supposed to be calming me down!
Tamara: I am sorry J, but holy sh*t!

Jenna: What kind of day are we looking at? Lunch in the bathroom?
Ming: Nope, I'm clear for quad exposure. I'm back in with the mafia, big time. They got my parents to buy me a car.
Jenna: You're kidding, why?
Ming: It's a peace offering. Becca's scared sh*tless of you, and by proxy now me.
Jenna: Why is she scared of me?
Tamara: Putting yourself up for public consumption is like batshizat on crack. You're the scariest kind of loose canon Jenna you're a suicide bomber.

I asked a White Bitch for Asian Bitch advice! Fuck me!

The Asians? I'm not eating lunch with those people.

Becca: What I don't know is, are you a cool Asian or a school Asian? What are your PSAT scores?
Ming: 120.
Becca: Low. You're not a school Asian. Have you ever spring break-ed in Cabo, downed Adderall, or had an affair with the lead singer of an indie rock band?
Ming: No.
Becca: Not a cool Asian either.
Ming: So what am I?
Becca: White.

Fred: Are you familiar with the difference between a White bitch and an Asian bitch? When a White bitch is after you she's in your face: loud, angry, making sure she knows that you're responsible for your destruction. The Asian bitch...
Ming: derives from the way of the Ninja. They're everywhere and nowhere, all stealth, you never see an Asian bitch coming.

Awkward Quotes

Without the bad days we can never appreciate the good ones, and, there are so many good days coming your way. Just do me a favor, forgive yourself like you forgave me.

Lacey

Eva: Sadie, I really admire how comfortable you are with your body. You're so brave.
Sadie: I'm not brave. I have amazing tits unlike you and your sad floppers.