Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Mitchell: Subtext: this is weird.
Cameron: I didn't hear any subtext.
Mitchell: Hear any now?

Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.

Mitchell: I had to settle.
Cameron: Well, your mom might think so, but some think I'm a catch.

Cam: My dream for him is that one day, he'll be on the Supreme Court.
Mitchell: Why Cam?
Cam: So at parties I can tell people my partner is one of the Supremes.

Cameron: I got all medieval on the florists.
Mitchell: Cam, I heard you on the phone, you said you were displeased, but that's hardly going medieval.
Cameron: Excuse me, I said very displeased and I used my cowboy voice.

I had to actually come out to my dad three times before he acknowledged it. I'm not sure if maybe he was hoping he heard it wrong, like I said 'Dad, I'm grey.'

People are who they are, give or take 15 percent. That's how much people can change if they really want to.

My gaydar is never wrong and it is pinging like we're at a bathhouse.

Mitchell [on burning flowers and Cameron]: Look at that: two things flaming at once.

He's like Batman, but straight.

She can't grow up with one huggy, happy cuddly dad and one frowny, lesson-teachy dad because... guess which one she's gonna ask to walk her down the aisle

Mitchell: Still keeping traditions alive, huh?
Jay: Someone has to. I got two Colombians as home trying to turn Christmas into Cinco de Mayo.
Mitchell: You know that's Mexican right?
Jay: Ahh. Burrito, burr-righto.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 160 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.

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