Cam: I just can't believe I slipped into one of Gloria's dresses.
MItchell: Relax it's a maternity poncho.

Cam: Trust me, I have another plan.
Mitchell: Really? Because right now our daughter is walking around like a Vietnamese Annie Hall.

News Reporter: How does your spouse feel about you coaching?
Cam: Oh this one, he's my rock, he's my Connie Britton.
Mitchell: Your Connie Britton?
Cam: Mrs. Coach on Friday Night Lights.

Unless you can convince Tom Brady to spend the night, I am not making breakfast for any football players…He is a football player right?

Cam: It's a bird! It's a plane!
Mitchell: It's super out of breath.
Cam: Happy Halloween to you too.

Well that's attractive. You look like a puppy with a slipper.

I can be challenging finding playmates for an exceptional child. I don't mean to brag, but that's why i didn't have any friends.

Claire: Why are you trying to turn this into a fight? I called to yell at you for getting me sick. Love you, bye.
Mitchell: I love you too.

I never get sick. I must've caught some kind of chill on the beach when my socks got wet...My ankles burn.

Cam: Hey counselor, what do I have to do to get you to drop that suit?
Mitchell: Cam what are you doing here?
Cam: Surprising my hugs-band!

Mitchell: There is no easy way to ask this, but are you all high?
Claire: No Mitchell, we're happy.

Cam: Oh my God! It feels like we have one mind and one heart.
Mitchell: And one chair.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said