Cam: I present to you the Asian for any occassion, the clown that will invert that frown, the dynamic duo of Fizbo and...
Lily: Lizbo!
Mitchell: Are you not hearing that?
Cam: We're working on the name.

What have I said about sneaking up on me? I could've been shaving. This could've been a Sweeney Todd moment.

Usually when everything's normal, people don't respond in perfectly rehearsed unison.

Claire: We are having fun.
Mitchell: You are. I'm just doing what you're making me do.

"To our best friend." That's a little sarcastic. It's her birthday, eh.

Oh my God, stop. We're gancient!

Cam: Umm well I can raise the roof and do the cabbage patch.
Mitchell: And I can do the single lady hand thing.
Cam: Yeah but put your neck into it or you just look like the Queen waving.

Mitchell: There is a lot of pressure when one is a gay uncle.
Cam: Or guncle.

Mitchell: She's gonna wake up.
Cam: Oh please, she's got enough pills in her, she's gonna rattle like a maraca.

Cam: Let's get this woman into bed and in the morning out of the house as fast as we can. Honestly, I don't know how straight guys do it.
Mitchell: Probably without those hand gestures.

We're showing Lily that we trust her enough to have one nice thing.

Cam: I just can't believe I slipped into one of Gloria's dresses.
MItchell: Relax it's a maternity poncho.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.