Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Mitchell: You know I'm surprised this particular foursome doesn't hang out more, considering...
Alex: We're the cultured ones in this family?

Unlike you, I don't need a reason to watch a bunch of guys run around in shorts.

Mitchell: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Cam: Well you did and do you know what the sad thing is? We could be laughing at someone's calf implants right now.

Oh please. He slips in and out of that accent like Kate Winslet in Titanic.

Haley: You’re super green!
Mitchell: I know! I’m recycling a dollhouse, I recycled a child.

I'm not having a wedding slash Hunger Games themed sweet sixteen part- oh you're tapping your fingers. You really do have a plan.

Cam: Poker face, poker face.
Mitchell: Ok, now work on your poker voice.

5 oclock Christmas Eve and I have to find a dozen perfect presents for the world’s snarkiest, cattiest men. My dear, dear friends.

Claire: So I finally get out of the closet and there’s dad looking down on me.
Mitchell: Been there.

Lily: Stop Dad you’re embarrassing me.
Mitchell: Welcome to the rest of your life sweetheart.

Missouri, misery, huh?

Mitchell [to Lily]: Wanna get our face painted like a pretty butterfly?
Cam: No I’m not in the mood.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 152 in total
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