Claire: Why are you trying to turn this into a fight? I called to yell at you for getting me sick. Love you, bye.
Mitchell: I love you too.

I never get sick. I must've caught some kind of chill on the beach when my socks got wet...My ankles burn.

Cam: Hey counselor, what do I have to do to get you to drop that suit?
Mitchell: Cam what are you doing here?
Cam: Surprising my hugs-band!

Mitchell: There is no easy way to ask this, but are you all high?
Claire: No Mitchell, we're happy.

Cam: Oh my God! It feels like we have one mind and one heart.
Mitchell: And one chair.

Claire: There's a reason I'm the best person.
Mitchell: You know that's just a title for today right?
Claire: Yeah, I'm the best person at this wedding.

Don't cry, you'll streak your bronzer.

Mitchell: This is my second favorite suit of yours.
Cam: Second?
Mitchell: Right after your birthday suit.
Cam: Hey! Cut it out, I'm practically a married man.

Jerry: Where did she come from?
Mitchell: Because she doesn't look like us? That’s offensive.

Mitchell: Hey, Best Man.
Claire: Hello, blushing bride.
Mitchell: I feel like I should hate that more.

Mitchell: Why don't we put Lily in one of Alex's shirts for the picture tonight?
Cam: She'll see right through that.
Mitchell: No you're thinking of Haley's shirts.

Mitchell: I'm so nervous. Are we gonna say Hugh Jackman in a bathing suit? What do we say to Hugh Jackman in a bathing suit?
Cam: Oh my God, it's so big.
Mitchell: That's a bit direct but you know he might be flattered- oh you're talking about the boat.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


That's the funny thing about marriage, you fall in love with this extraordinary person and over time they begin to seem ordinary. I think it's all the nagging.