Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Cam: Poker face, poker face.
Mitchell: Ok, now work on your poker voice.

5 oclock Christmas Eve and I have to find a dozen perfect presents for the world’s snarkiest, cattiest men. My dear, dear friends.

Claire: So I finally get out of the closet and there’s dad looking down on me.
Mitchell: Been there.

Lily: Stop Dad you’re embarrassing me.
Mitchell: Welcome to the rest of your life sweetheart.

Missouri, misery, huh?

Mitchell [to Lily]: Wanna get our face painted like a pretty butterfly?
Cam: No I’m not in the mood.

Okay one of us has to change. We look like twin toddlers at church.

Oh this is Haley, 'be there in 5, Alex took ducking forever.'

Mitchell: Hey fiancée.
Cam: Hello my intended.

C'mon does Gloria really look like the kind of woman who would run a brothel? Yeah I better go with her.

Cam: You know what we don't have in this family? Two supportive loving fathers.
Mitchell: I'm just saying she's five.
Cam: And you never let her forget it.

Cam: Well obviously the tooth fairy made a mistake.
Mitchell: Maybe it's cause the tooth fairy had a little too much chardonnay last night.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 170 in total