Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Mitchell: Suck it Nancy!
Pepper: I was just trying to help.

Cam: Everyone here is 11 and I'm hot.
Mitchell: If you were hot we'd be drinking right now.

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Cam: Are you excited for your big sleepover with your cousins?
Lily: Who's watching me?
Cam: Haley.
Lily: I'm serious.
Mitchell: Alex.
Lily: Okay let's go.

How're you gonna cheerlead your way out of this one Buffy?

Cam: I'm a doer and an action taker. Sean Penn would play me in a movie about this. Or Anne Hathaway if they wanted a female driven vehicle.
Mitchell: And who would play your long suffering partner?
Cam: Julianne Moore either way.
Mitchell: I would totally see that. I would.

Alex: I know what you think about Michael, mom. You didn't have to bring your big gay guns in to back you up. No offense.
Mitchell: None taken.
Cam: I kinda like it.

Cam: When I was young and straight, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rock star. I'm not proud of it.
Mitchell: You're kinda proud of it, you work it into a lot of conversations.

Hey Cam, I heard a rumor that you keep flashing our guests.

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