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Okay, everybody, for the next 15 minutes, one-third off on every pitcher! (Crowd cheers) Hey, one per customer. Domestic beer only. Hey, no sharing!Moe
- Permalink: (<i>Homer and Marge make up at Moe's bar</i>) Okay, everybody,...
(At Moe's, the guys try to get Homer to tell his story about moving to Capital City.)
Barney: So, Homer, what happened in Capital City?
Homer: Oh, Barney.
Moe: Come on, Homer. We're dyin' of curiosity.
Homer: Look, there's only one thing worse than being a loser. It's being one of those guys who sits in a bar telling the story of how he became a loser. And I never want that to happen to me!
Barney: Please, Homer?
Moe: Yeah, come on, Homer.
Homer: Well, okay. It all started on Nuclear Plant Employee, Spouses and No More Than Three Children Night, down at Springfield Stadium
- Permalink: <i>(At Moe's, the guys try to get Homer to tell his story about ...
Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Bart: Hello. Is Al there?
Bart: Yeah, Al. Last name, Coholic.
Moe: Lemme check. Phone call for Al, Al Coholic. (Louder) Is there an Al Coholic here?
(Everyone in the bar laughs at Moe.)
Moe: Wait a minute. Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass. If I ever find out who you are, I'll kill ya!
- Permalink: Moe's Tavern. Hello. Is Al there? Al? Yeah, Al. Last name,...
Homer: My wife's gonna leave me 'cause she thinks I'm a pig.
Moe: Marge is right. You are a pig. You can ask anyone in this bar!
Homer: (Shocked) What? Hey, Barney, am I a pig?
Barney: You're even more of a pig than I am. (Belches)
Homer: Oh, no!
Moe: See? You're a pig. Barney's a pig, Larry's a pig. We're all pigs!
- Permalink: My wife's gonna leave me 'cause she thinks I'm a pig. Homer. ...
Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Bart: Is Oliver there?
Bart: Oliver Klozoff.
Moe: Hold on. I'll check. Oliver Klozoff! Call for Oliver Klozoff!
- Permalink: Moe's Tavern. Is Oliver there? Who? Oliver Klozoff. Hold...
Moe: Yeah. Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking.
Bart: Is Jacques there?
Bart: Jacques. Last name Strap.
Moe: Uh, hold on. (Calling out) Uh, Jacques Strap! Hey, guys, I'm lookin' for a Jacques Strap!
(The entire bar laughs at Moe.)
Moe: What? Aw, wait a minute, Jacques Strap? It's you isn't it, you cowardly little runt! When I get a hold of you, I am gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood.
- Permalink: Yeah. Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking. Is Jacques there? Who? J...