The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Wow, that's the farthest one of my egg ever made it down someone's throat.

My fresco! That's coming out of your stealings!

I'm Moe Szyslak. Growing up, I had roundworm. Heck I was more worm than man some months. I dabbled in satanism until I was asked to leave. Oh and one month I ate nothing by aquarium fish.

Not bad. Like Frisbee Golf, I'm glad I tried it once.

I'd have to move in with mom, who's dead and doesn't have a house.

Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.

That wasn't the Wi-Fi - that was my Bell's Palsy acting up.

Homer: Moe, I can save you if you let go of the grandfather clock.
Moe: But it's been in my family for over 40 seconds!

Homer: Moe, can we talk?
Moe: Are you crazy? It's 500 degrees in here! (Checks thermometer) Oh no wait, it's only 495. What's on your mind?

Apu: Are you suggesting we should steal?
Moe: Hey, it ain't stealing if you take it fast.

Moe: You know, I think I'll volunteer, too.
Barney: Why'd you say "too"?
Moe: Well, I assume I'm not the first one.

(bowing to Homer) King of thieves, we worship you!

Apu and Moe
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 127 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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