The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Homer: And now because it's after noon, I can go to Moe's without having a "drinking problem."
Moe: Hey Homer, I could hear your pathetic rationalizing through the door.

Wow, that's the farthest one of my egg ever made it down someone's throat.

My fresco! That's coming out of your stealings!

I'm Moe Szyslak. Growing up, I had roundworm. Heck I was more worm than man some months. I dabbled in satanism until I was asked to leave. Oh and one month I ate nothing by aquarium fish.

Not bad. Like Frisbee Golf, I'm glad I tried it once.

I'd have to move in with mom, who's dead and doesn't have a house.

Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.

That wasn't the Wi-Fi - that was my Bell's Palsy acting up.

Homer: Moe, I can save you if you let go of the grandfather clock.
Moe: But it's been in my family for over 40 seconds!

Homer: Moe, can we talk?
Moe: Are you crazy? It's 500 degrees in here! (Checks thermometer) Oh no wait, it's only 495. What's on your mind?

Apu: Are you suggesting we should steal?
Moe: Hey, it ain't stealing if you take it fast.

Moe: You know, I think I'll volunteer, too.
Barney: Why'd you say "too"?
Moe: Well, I assume I'm not the first one.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 128 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart