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The-simpsons

My fresco! That's coming out of your stealings!

I'm Moe Szyslak. Growing up, I had roundworm. Heck I was more worm than man some months. I dabbled in satanism until I was asked to leave. Oh and one month I ate nothing by aquarium fish.

Not bad. Like Frisbee Golf, I'm glad I tried it once.

I'd have to move in with mom, who's dead and doesn't have a house.

Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.

That wasn't the Wi-Fi - that was my Bell's Palsy acting up.

Homer: Moe, I can save you if you let go of the grandfather clock.
Moe: But it's been in my family for over 40 seconds!

Homer: Moe, can we talk?
Moe: Are you crazy? It's 500 degrees in here! (Checks thermometer) Oh no wait, it's only 495. What's on your mind?

Apu: Are you suggesting we should steal?
Moe: Hey, it ain't stealing if you take it fast.

Moe: You know, I think I'll volunteer, too.
Barney: Why'd you say "too"?
Moe: Well, I assume I'm not the first one.

(bowing to Homer) King of thieves, we worship you!

Apu and Moe

Apu: Mr Burns, just jump into the net!
Mr. Burns: What's in it for me?
Moe: Just jump!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 126 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
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