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The-simpsons

Moe: I brought you a little present. (Gives Homer a can of beer)
Homer: No. Beer bring pain.
Barney: I can't stand to see him like this. (Shoves a pillow in Homer's face. He than lifts up a water fountain, throws it at a window, jumps out and runs away)
Moe: He really needs a girlfriend.

Moe: You'll be back!!! And you, And you (to Barney). And you.
Barney: Of course I'll be back, if you didn't close I'd never leave!

Moe: C'mon, Homer, do it for your old pal Moesy.
Barney: But Moe, yesterday you called Homer a worthless sack of --
Moe: Pipe down, rub-a-dub!

Moe: (Reads his valentine) "To Moe. From your secret admirer."
Barney: Yoo Hooooo!
Moe: Oh God, no!
(Barney blows a kiss and belches)

Moe: Now let's have a minute of silent prayer for our good friend, Homer Simpson.
Barney: How long has it been?
Moe: Six seconds.
Barney: Do we have to start over?
Moe: Hell no.

Moe: Linda Ronstadt?! How did you get her?
Barney: Ah, we've been looking for a project to do together for a while.

Ivana Tinkel, Ivana Tinkel! Okay, everyone put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkel!

Moe: Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high! (bar laughs)
Moe: (To Bart) You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!

Moe: Barney, don't steal any beer while I'm gone.
Barney: What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray!

Homer: Moe, have you ever felt unattractive?
Moe: Mmmm, no.
Homer: How about you, Barney?
Barney: Not for a second! (*belch*)

(Homer is watching The Three Stooges)
Lady: You must be the three chyropractors I sent for, now start manipulating my spine.
Curly: Hey Moe, we don't know anything about manipulatin'
Moe: You heard the lady, grab her spine and get crackin.
Homer: Hehehe.. Moe is their leader.

Homer: Oh no, I went to this bar the other night and the.
Moe: Hey, wawait a minute. You went to another bar?
Homer: Moe, I was 100 miles out of town!
Moe: Oh Homer...

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 126 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
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