The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXMoe Szyslak Quotes
Manjula: My eyes have more bags than the Darjeeling Limited.
Moe: Hah, that's probably a good one.
Think of it as a wake-up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Shouldn't have used helium.
This ominscient point of view has some bonuses.
I moved here because on a calculator, the ZIP Code spells "boobs."
Moe: Get your throwing stuff! Turn the protest into a riot!
Milhouse: How much for a tomato?
Moe: Fresh stuff for a dollar. Rotten is two bucks.
Kirk: Son, do you really need the rotten? I mean, it's not like you're actually gonna hit him.
Bart: Moe, look over there! (as a distraction)
Moe: What? What am I looking at? I don't see nothing. I'm gonna stop looking soon What? What, is that it?
Homer walks into Moe's Tavern
Homer: Hey Moe, can I look, too?
Moe: Sure, but it'll cost ya.
Homer: My wallet's in the car.
Homer runs out
Moe: He is so stupid. And now back to the wall.
Moe: I brought you a little present. (Gives Homer a can of beer)
Homer: No. Beer bring pain.
Barney: I can't stand to see him like this. (Shoves a pillow in Homer's face. He than lifts up a water fountain, throws it at a window, jumps out and runs away)
Moe: He really needs a girlfriend.
Moe: You'll be back!!! And you, And you (to Barney). And you.
Barney: Of course I'll be back, if you didn't close I'd never leave!
Moe: C'mon, Homer, do it for your old pal Moesy.
Barney: But Moe, yesterday you called Homer a worthless sack of --
Moe: Pipe down, rub-a-dub!
Moe: (Reads his valentine) "To Moe. From your secret admirer."
Barney: Yoo Hooooo!
Moe: Oh God, no!
(Barney blows a kiss and belches)
Moe: Now let's have a minute of silent prayer for our good friend, Homer Simpson.
Barney: How long has it been?
Moe: Six seconds.
Barney: Do we have to start over?
Moe: Hell no.
Moe: Linda Ronstadt?! How did you get her?
Barney: Ah, we've been looking for a project to do together for a while.
