The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXMr. Burns Quotes
Mr. Burns: I love you, Smithers.
Smithers: The feeling is more than mutual, sir.
But now it's time to say good-bye. Please get off my property until next year. I suggest you don't dawdle. The hounds will be released in ten minutes.
Mr. Burns: Good to see you. Glad you could make it.
Father: Oh, thank you, Mr. Burns. I'm so glad you invited us.
Son: Not me. I had to miss little league for this.
Father: Quiet, Tom.
Mr. Burns: Oh please, please, don't fight. Just go out back and have a good time. (to Smithers) Fire that man, Smithers. I don't want him, or his unpleasant family to ruin my picnic.
Smithers: He'll be gone by the tug-of-war, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.
You're not as stupid as you look or sound or our best testing indicates.
Mr. Burns [to Homer]
(Mr. Burns offers Homer the new job of safety inspector)
Mr. Burns: The generous offer I'm making is good for exactly...30 seconds, Simpson.
Homer's Brain: Me, in charge of safety? This place could blow sky high. Nah. I'll concentrate on my work now. Gee, this guy's desk sure is big. I can't let Marge support the family. This guy's got the cleanest shirt I've ever seen. What should I--.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, time's up.
Homer: Mmm, what the hey. I'll take the job.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.
Wait, I'm shooting at nazis? That's not how I remember it.
Homer: That is the most amazing doughnut I've ever tasted
Mr. Burns: Well, if you stay on with the Springfield nuclear plant, you could have one of these tasty beauties every day.
Lenny [about doughnut]: One of these every day might kill us.
Carl: Can we get a health plan to go with them?
Mr. Burns: Sure, you could have a health care or.... two donuts a day.
Until Roosevelt's new deal starts working, this country's still in a depression. I'm spending a fortune on atoms. We have to cut costs.
