Ari: Yo Grill Master! Are you in my house? I've got a new show for you. It's called 'Boy Meets Husband Who Kills Him!'
Mrs. Ari: Ari!
Bobby Flay: I'm not hiding, Ari.
Ari: Well you should.

Richard Branson: I'm in family mode too, so...
Ari: Yes. Well played sir. I love your family.
Mrs. Gold: ARI!
Ari: Honey, he has twins. How rare is that?

Ari: If you don't want to talk and you don't want to have sex, what else is there to do in here?
Mrs. Gold: Do you want to talk?
Ari: I'd rather have sex.

Ari: Honey, I need at least a blow job
Mrs. Gold: Blow yourself

E [on the phone]: What are we supposed to do for 12 weeks?
Ari: Enjoy life, what else. And snap some below the belt photos of that partner of yours and send them over here. I am bored...
E: You wish! Later.
Ari: Later.
Mrs. Ari [still half asleep]: You're bored?
Ari: It was a joke baby, you know I'm never bored here. Now give me something.
Mrs. Ari: What time is it?
Ari: I don't know. My cock doesn't wear a watch...

Ari [leaving dinner]: You need some cash?
Mrs Ari: I am not a hooker.
Ari: Oh, but what a good one you would be!

Ari: Remember when you said the car would make me feel 25 again? Well, it made me feel 18 again, and I'm gonna prove it to you.
Mrs. Ari: What about the kids?
Ari: You know what, Sarah take care of your brother. Mommy and daddy have a little conference.
Mrs. Ari: Are you still taking me to dinner?
Ari: it's doubtful

Mrs Ari: Sara's best friend's mom just got raped on Criminal Minds last week
Ari: A) Rape isn't voluntary and B) It's prime time!

Ari: You gotta be kidding me.
Mrs. Ari: It's playtime Ari, this is what kids do.
Ari: This is what in-mates do when they're gonna overtake the guard

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