Flight of the Conchords

Murray Hewitt Quotes

Murray: Greg, I need some anti-glue.
Greg: What is anti-glue?
Murray: It's anti-glue, it gets rid of glue.
Greg: I don't think that exists Murray.
Murray: Well, just get it, okay?
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Murray: How do you think you get to be "sold out." It's the small venues. It's a trick. It's an old trick.
 • Rating: Unrated

Murray: Okay, band meeting. Ahh well, Jemaine?
Jemaine: Present.
Murray: Who else we got here? Bret?
Bret: Yep.
Murray: And who else? Mur.. Ray... Oh. Greg's written this, he's put the R's too far apart. It's Murray.. Murray present
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jemaine: Bret dissed alot of people in that rap thing that he did.
Murray: Who were these people you were dissing? The only one I could make out was Snoopy! What's your problem with him?
Bret: No, Snoop Dogg.
Murray: Yeah, I know he's a dog, Bret. I'm not totally in the dark ages. I do go out every once in a while. But, Snoopy's lovable! Leave him alone
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Murray: Okay guys, notes on yesterday's gig. We got several complaints about the noise. You gotta remember this is in a library. Bear that in mind.
Bret: Yeah, but it's so hard to play there 'cause everyone wants us to be quiet.
Jemaine: They keep shushing us.
Murray: They're trying to read!
Bret: We may as well not be there if we're not gonna make any sound.
Murray: Well, you can make sound, just make it so people can't hear you
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Murray: Bret, you should have a guitar.
Bret: I sold it to pay the bills.
Murray: You can't go on like that! Won't it sound weird with just the 'big guitar' that Jemaine plays?
Jemaine: Bass. It's called a bass guitar.
Murray: Well, I call it the 'Dad guitar' 'cause it's more like (deep voice) "Da da da da - I'm your Dad. Hey Murray, get into the shed and get the mower and do the lawns - de de de." You need Bret's 'Mum guitar' to add the beautiful tones (high voice) "Come on, darling, Murray's okay. Why you get home so late, Gordon?" (deep voice) "I was just havin' a few beers."
Bret: It'll sound fine.
Murray: It won't sound fine, Bret, you've got no guitar! (Bret plays his air guitar) I can hardly hear it! You'd have to be deaf to hear that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Murray: Just to let you know, your awards over there - they're fake! I had to make them myself. They're pencil sharpeners stuck onto a couple of bits of wood to make you feel better!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Murray: Bret, could you get a pencil out of my stationary cabinet, please?
Bret: Where's that?
Murray: Just the glove box.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bret: Todd's not cool.
Murray: What do you mean? He's cooler than both of you put together. Look at him over there with all his friends. He's like the Pied Piper of cool. Pied Piper was cool wasn't he?
Bret: Pied Piper wasn't cool, he took all those kids into a cave.
Murray: No, I mean before that phase; when it was just the rats.
 • Rating: Unrated

Murray: I'm so angry, I feel like swearing.
Bret: Oh, Murray, you wouldn't swear at us.
Murray: Go f**k yourself Bret!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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