The Simpsons

Ned Flanders Quotes (Page 2)

Edna: Those two boys of yours weren't delivered by the stork.
Flanders: Yes they were. We deliberately chose a Doctor Stork so we could say it without lying.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Flanders: Did a volcano erupt in candy land, because I just caught me a flying red hot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Oh, you beautiful man!
Flanders: That feeling is mutual of Omaha.
Homer: God, you're hilarious!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ned: Homer, do you think you could show just the slightest bit of reverence?
Homer: Ned, I'm an American tourist. I'm just here to see some sights, try some goofy new foods, and spread some sheckles my with my Carolina Panthers credit card. Go Panthers!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ned: Our bible study group is going to the holy land next month. I'd like to take you and your family along as my guests.
Homer: Hmm, let me think. Take my family to a war zone on a bus filled with religious lameos in a country with no pork in a desert with no casinos. Where do I sign up?
Marge: Homer, I can hear your sarcasm from inside the house and the dishwasher is on.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Reverend Lovejoy: God has never given up on anyone
Ned: What about Sodom and Gomorrah?
Reverend Lovejoy: He lovingly destroyed them.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ned: Now let us download the holy tweet of the Lord.
Agnes: Stop making this relatable!
Jimbo: Hey, as a youth if I don't hear a computer word every couple sentences, I am out of here.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Flanders [about Lisa]: Just as I feared, her Buddhism has led directly to witchcraft.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ned: I'm not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month?
 • Rating: Unrated

Rod: We thought you were gonna die.
Tod: And then Uncle Kevin would have to raise us.
Rod: And his funny friend, David.
Ned Flanders: Oh I'd put rocks in your pocket and walk you out to sea for before I'd let that happen.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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