The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Edna: Those two boys of yours weren't delivered by the stork.
Flanders: Yes they were. We deliberately chose a Doctor Stork so we could say it without lying.

Did a volcano erupt in candy land, because I just caught me a flying red hot.

Homer: Oh, you beautiful man!
Flanders: That feeling is mutual of Omaha.
Homer: God, you're hilarious!

Rod: (to Ned) Daddy, what are you doing?
Ned: Imploring people I never met to pressure a government with better things to do to punish a man who meant no harm for something nobody ever saw, that's what I'm doing!
Rod: (after exchanging a worried look with Tod) Daddy, we think you need a new mommy.
Ned: First things first!

Ned Flanders: Homer, you've met my parents.
Homer: Not naked I haven't.

(about Homer) He's the kindest, sweetest, most generous guy who ever drove through my living room.

Tonight's G-rated jam is a silent film from my favorite yearYester.

(Homer seeks Flanders help to find out what happened to him.)
Homer: Flanders, why did you call the cops last night?
Ned: I had to--I heard a hubbub, Bub.
Homer: What did I do?!
Ned: Well, I can't say for sure, but as a Christian, I assume the worst.

That concludes our Halloween show for this year. I just wanna say that for those watching this network, you're all going to Hell and that includes FX, Fox Sports, and our newest devil's portal, The Wall Street Journal. Welcome to the club!

Ned Flanders: Top of the mornin', Tow-mer.
Homer: It's Homer, idiot.
Ned Flanders: (Chuckles) So it is. I'm just here to pay the fine for the Sunday School bus. You towed it with the kids still in it.
Homer: (Chuckles) I guess I'm more powerful than God now.
Ned Flanders: You know what they say: "With great power comes great responsibility."
Homer: Who said that?! I'll kill them with my power!

(Homer warms up his voice before a performance.)
Homer: (Singing) D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo-hoo. Stu, stu, stu, stu-pid Flanders.
(Ned Flanders peeks in the dressing room.)
Ned Flanders: Why the crescendo, my dear, old friend-o?
Homer: (Singing) Get lost you waste of a mustache.
Ned Flanders: Okily-dokily.

Ned Flanders: Reverend, would you like to try some of my devil's food cake?
Reverend Lovejoy: Is that really devil's food?
Ned Flanders: No, it's angel's food with chocolate on top.
Reverend Lovejoy: Mmm-hmmm, I thought so.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 86 in total
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