Popular Ned Quotes
Ned: Of course you did. Everything we do is a choice: oatmeal or cereal, highway or side street, kiss her or keep her. We make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way we ask for forgiveness. It's the best anyone can do
Louis Schatz is a big fat liar. And I say fat in reference to his size as a liar, not as a judgment of his physical appearance.
(to Lawrence Schatz, about being the reason he died) I'm sorry for what I did. It was mostly on accident, but partially on purpose. However inadvertent, I'm sorry I did it. That's all.
Emerson: I need to chat with Lawrence Schatz before he goes into the ground. Tomorrow.
Ned: I'm not going back to that funeral home. It's returning to the scene of a crime, that's just sloppy.
Ned: Why are you still talking?
Emerson: I'm rippin' off the Bandaid!
Ned: I'm not a ripper, I pull up a corner a little at a time and then run it under warm water and I pull it up a little more. It's a process.
Ned: What did you say it was, besides mysterious?
Emerson: I have not yet expressed my opinion.
Ned: Would you care to express it now?
Emerson: My opinion is you need to take a coupon for this conversation and redeem it at another date.
Ned: I want to use my coupon now.
Emerson: Redeem it tomorrow. There's somebody in the county fridge you need to talk to.
I made a choice and I'd do it again. I let Lawrence Schatz die and if i was faced with that choice right now I would make the same choice. You could put me in a loop and I'd make the same choice every time, that's how confident I am that it was the right choice for me to make. I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person, but... I'm not sorry that you're alive.
Chuck: You do realize that bee keeping within city limits is completely illegal?
Ned: Yes. And I'm almost sure I don't care.
Ned: I can't catch her, Emerson.
Emerson: Can't suck on her toes, neither. Some women like that.
Chuck: We're like everyone else in the world.
Ned: Except I still can't catch you.
Emerson: We're taking two cars next time.
No, actually I want to talk about this. I could let it go, but like the cat, it will come back, which I wouldn't call annoying but, there's no really great way of saying half-annoying, which it is a little bit.
Ned: You know what our problem is?
Chuck: If you're referring to the touching thing, I see it as more of an obstacle than a problem.
Ned: It's a pretty big obstacle.
Chuck: Not compared to our others problems.
Ned: We've got other problems?
Emerson: I'm going to kill myself.
