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Ned: You're the only one for me.
Chuck: I know you feel that now, but there are things you want, there's things we both want.
Ned: So? Everyone wants stuff. We wake up everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn't mean we need them to be happy.
Chuck: What do you need to be happy?
Ned: You.

Ned: I had a sexy dream about Olive last night and I'm sure it was influenced by a reality-based kiss. By the road. You know...
Emerson: There is no way for this conversation to be anything but awkward for me.

Ned and I have been together for a very long time. We’re intimate. But it’s the appropriate human-canine sort of intim

Chuck: were you watching me sleep?
Ned: No... yes... well, I was waiting for you to wake up and in the process of waiting I was, yes, watching you sleep.

Ned: Care to dance?
Chuck: Yes, please.

Ned: You know what our problem is?
Chuck: If you're referring to the touching thing, I see it as more of an obstacle than a problem.
Ned: It's a pretty big obstacle.
Chuck: Not compared to our others problems.
Ned: We've got other problems?
Emerson: I'm going to kill myself.

No, actually I want to talk about this. I could let it go, but like the cat, it will come back, which I wouldn't call annoying but, there's no really great way of saying half-annoying, which it is a little bit.

Chuck: We're like everyone else in the world.
Ned: Except I still can't catch you.
Emerson: We're taking two cars next time.

Ned: I can't catch her, Emerson.
Emerson: Can't suck on her toes, neither. Some women like that.

Chuck: You do realize that bee keeping within city limits is completely illegal?
Ned: Yes. And I'm almost sure I don't care.

I made a choice and I'd do it again. I let Lawrence Schatz die and if i was faced with that choice right now I would make the same choice. You could put me in a loop and I'd make the same choice every time, that's how confident I am that it was the right choice for me to make. I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person, but... I'm not sorry that you're alive.

Ned: What did you say it was, besides mysterious?
Emerson: I have not yet expressed my opinion.
Ned: Would you care to express it now?
Emerson: My opinion is you need to take a coupon for this conversation and redeem it at another date.
Ned: I want to use my coupon now.
Emerson: Redeem it tomorrow. There's somebody in the county fridge you need to talk to.

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