Ned Quotes
Ned: Why are you still talking?
Emerson: I'm rippin' off the Bandaid!
Ned: I'm not a ripper, I pull up a corner a little at a time and then run it under warm water and I pull it up a little more. It's a process.
Emerson: I need to chat with Lawrence Schatz before he goes into the ground. Tomorrow.
Ned: I'm not going back to that funeral home. It's returning to the scene of a crime, that's just sloppy.
(to Lawrence Schatz, about being the reason he died) I'm sorry for what I did. It was mostly on accident, but partially on purpose. However inadvertent, I'm sorry I did it. That's all.
Louis Schatz is a big fat liar. And I say fat in reference to his size as a liar, not as a judgment of his physical appearance.
Ned: Of course you did. Everything we do is a choice: oatmeal or cereal, highway or side street, kiss her or keep her. We make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way we ask for forgiveness. It's the best anyone can do
You framed someone for murder, you ass!
Chuck: I was having conversations with myself.
Ned: What did you guys talk about?
Emerson: Lawrence Schatz wasn't murdered. He was accidentally, involuntarily manslaughtered.
Ned: I appreciate that.
Chuck: Which birthday should I celebrate? I have two now...
Ned: Whichever is easier to explain.
Chuck: I don't know anything about you since you were nine.
Ned: Well, it's pretty much I bake pies and wake the dead. I live a very sheltered life.
Emerson: (panicking) Can't this car go any faster?!
Chuck: Some car of the future this is!
Ned: I thought cars of the future were supposed to fly! What the hell happened to flying cars
Ned: Can you help us get out of these body bags?
Olive: Sure.
