Principal Skinner: You're not supposed to be able to get outside our network.
Nelson: You shouldn't have made your password, "password".
Principal Skinner: It was the name of the street I grew up on, Password Drive.

Skinner: So from now on our cafeteria will only serve delicious Stuffwich's heroes, hoagies, and torpedoes.
Nelson: What about po' boys?
Skinner: Sorry, Nelson. Poor boys, such as yourself, will go hungry.

Simpson, I won't forget this. From now on, you and I are as tight as whiteys.

Simpson, there;s going to be a heart in my hand, either paper or yours.

Lisa: I hope you're happy. You all just wasted your time working your way into an after school class.
Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Ralph: Aahhh!

Lisa, what you did is like my mother sticking ten bucks in her own g-string.

God, if you don't bring my Lisa home safe, ants will burn tonight!

Nelson: Did you find any gold?
Bart: Even better, the prospectors left naughty French postcards.
Nelson: Bart, this is fool's porn, I'll take it off your hands.

Bart: Mom, I'm going to give you life the way I imagined you gave me life--by pressing Alt-F5 repeatedly! (His game character places a zapping gaze into her eyes as she's brought back to life, then he groans and drops to the floor)
Marge: Bart, you brought me back to life (Sees her character now exhibits the lower part of a pig) as best you could.
Nelson: HA-HAAH!!! (His character is a human head with pigeon wings who flies overhead, makes fun of her, then bumps into a wall and drops into a torch, getting incinerated in the process.)

Lisa: Nelson, you came to help us in our time of need.
(Nelson jumps off the fort.)
Nelson: HA! HA!

Nelson: And just when you think he's done, Dark Stanley takes your skin and makes footy pajamas.
Dolph: Nobody pajamanates my skin!

(to Milhouse) Ha ha, you forgot me because I had the mumps!

The Simpsons Quotes

(Picking out a Tuxedo for Bart. He doesn't look pleased with his puffy shirt tuxedo.)
Bart: (frowning) Isn't this shirt kinda gay?
Clerk: Last time I checked, pirates weren't gay.
Homer: Eww, how'd you check?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart