He lost five pounds, he gained confidence with women, and he saw the movie "Multiplicity" 25 times.

• Permalink: He lost five pounds, he gained confidence with women, and he saw...
• Rating: Unrated

Winston: Would you consider us adorable?
Nick: No, we're adult men. We're cute.

• Permalink: No, we're adult men. We're cute.
• Rating: Unrated

Are you okay to drive? You've got crazy eyes!

• Permalink: Are you okay to drive? You've got crazy eyes!
• Rating: Unrated

It's not gonna end well for these two.

• Permalink: It's not gonna end well for these two.
• Rating: Unrated

Everbody has been flashed countless times, right?

• Permalink: Everbody has been flashed countless times, right?
• Rating: Unrated

I'd give you a hug, but my shirt smells pretty weird today.

• Permalink: I'd give you a hug, but my shirt smells pretty weird today.
• Rating: Unrated

I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer.

• Permalink: I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer.
• Rating: Unrated

So I have good news from the doctor--you don't have rabies. You have giardia, and something called "Legionnaires disease."

• Permalink: So I have good news from the doctor--you don't have rabies. You have giardia, and something...
• Rating: Unrated

Jess: So Nick doesn't have a traditional career.
Nick: Or is it the MOST traditional career? Or am I thinking of prostitution?

• Permalink: Or is it the MOST traditional career? Or am I thinking of prostitution?
• Rating: Unrated

Jess, you win! I'm gonna take you...respectfully!

• Permalink: Jess, you win! I'm gonna take you...respectfully!
• Rating: Unrated

Jess: Nick, are you eating raisins from my purse? I confiscated those from a kid.
Nick: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.

• Permalink: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.
• Rating: Unrated

You got hurt on a hog man!

• Permalink: You got hurt on a hog man!
• Rating: Unrated