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New-girl

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick: I believe horses are from outer space--
Jess: I believe that, too!

I feel like Russell Crowe in every movie he's ever done.

It smells like leather and Teddy Roosevelt and wistfulness.

Skylar: Do you know how to make drinks?
Nick: Do I know how to make drinks?
Skylar: Yeah, like alcoholic drinks?
Nick: Yeah, I do that professionally.
Skylar: You could get me drunk professionally?

Nick: Schmidt...I need you to teach me to be a douchebag
Schmidt: Let's get started.
Winston: What is happening in the world?

Where are you guys? Could I have walked out to the mountains? When does a hill become a mountain? I'm so cold!

Jess: Nick put on some pants or at least some really high socks.
Nick: Really high socks it is then!

Sandwiches and sex!? I want that!

Caroline is way hotter than that voice in my head who sounds like Tom Waits and tells me I look bad in hats.

Schmidt: Would you line up around the corner if the iPhone was called "the slippery germ brick"?
Nick: Yeah, I probably would actually.

I want to kill you...because I respect you. I think I understanding hunting!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 124 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
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