Schmidt: Would you line up around the corner if the iPhone was called "the slippery germ brick"?
Nick: Yeah, I probably would actually.

Nick: Schmidt...I need you to teach me to be a douchebag
Schmidt: Let's get started.
Winston: What is happening in the world?

Skylar: Do you know how to make drinks?
Nick: Do I know how to make drinks?
Skylar: Yeah, like alcoholic drinks?
Nick: Yeah, I do that professionally.
Skylar: You could get me drunk professionally?

Where are you guys? Could I have walked out to the mountains? When does a hill become a mountain? I'm so cold!

I want to kill you...because I respect you. I think I understanding hunting!

It smells like leather and Teddy Roosevelt and wistfulness.

Jess: You've always wanted a thing, so maybe this is your thing. The guy with no phone.
Nick: But who is that guy!?

He smells of strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse.

New Girl Quotes

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt