Sandwiches and sex!? I want that!

Jess: Nick put on some pants or at least some really high socks.
Nick: Really high socks it is then!

Schmidt: Would you line up around the corner if the iPhone was called "the slippery germ brick"?
Nick: Yeah, I probably would actually.

Nick: Schmidt...I need you to teach me to be a douchebag
Schmidt: Let's get started.
Winston: What is happening in the world?

Skylar: Do you know how to make drinks?
Nick: Do I know how to make drinks?
Skylar: Yeah, like alcoholic drinks?
Nick: Yeah, I do that professionally.
Skylar: You could get me drunk professionally?

Where are you guys? Could I have walked out to the mountains? When does a hill become a mountain? I'm so cold!

I want to kill you...because I respect you. I think I understanding hunting!

It smells like leather and Teddy Roosevelt and wistfulness.

Jess: You've always wanted a thing, so maybe this is your thing. The guy with no phone.
Nick: But who is that guy!?

He smells of strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse.

New Girl Quotes

You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.

Jess

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick