Nick Miller Quotes
Nick: Because college is so expensive...
Angie: I'm a stripper.
Nick: I don't get it. Is this bath water?
Schmidt: Might as well be; it's rosÃ©.
Jess: You care about burritos more than my children?
Nick: You're putting me in a tough spot right now!
What are you going to do for 20 minutes of foreplay? Boring! Yawn! Am I right, ladies?
No part of this conversation is making me wanna boil over with rage.
I hate doors!
Nick: I didn't punch a girl. I punched a horrifying monster. You of all people should know this, Frankenstein!
Frankenstein: You're the real monster!
Jess [whispering]: Sam's in there.
Nick [whispering]: Yeah, and Amelia's in there. High five for sluts!
College Nick: You like rap music? Who's your favorite rapper.
College Schmidt: Brian Austin Green.
Jess: When I hear all the stuff about Cece's profession, like the dieting, it's crazy. And the butt-drinking...
Nick: Did you just say "butt-drinking?" You can't say "butt-drinking" and not explain what it is. That's two of my four favorite things.
Nick: In March, I will have been living with Schmidt for 10 years. I know that because he sent me an e-mail asking how I want to celebrate our tin anniversary.
Jess: How did you become friends? Was it an accident? Did you hit him with your car and you became his reluctant caretaker?
Winston: Schmidt is tired of doing things for you that go unnoticed â€” lining your shoes up at the door.
Nick: Don't line my shoes up at the door.
Winston: Recording your favorite shows. The turn-down service.
Nick: The turn-down service is weird, and I never asked you to do that.
Schmidt: Well I guess those chocolate mints just disappeared on their own.