These nuns aren't my people. Unless you're telling me "flibbertigibbet" is a title of respect.

I spent so much time praying, I've run out of things to say. I'm having awkward silences with God!

Forgive me, Father, for I'm gonna file a police report for all my worldly possessions.

I am a sawed off shotgun full of secrets.

Ned: Do you know you have a "tell" when you lie?
Olive: Do I?
Ned: You answer questions with questions.
Olive: Maybe I know I have a tell and I know you know I have a tell and maybe I'm doing it now to confuse you because you don't know what tell I'm telling.

Olive: Can I ask you a question? If you loved me....
Alfredo: Yes?
Olive: And we could never, ever, ever touch. Wouldn't you eventually get over it and move on letting someone else have the slightest hope that you might move on to them?
Alfredo: If I loved you?
Olive: Yeah.
Alfredo: Then I would love you in any way I could. And if we could not touch, then I would draw strength from your beauty. And if I went blind, then I would fill my soul with the sound of your voice and the contents of your thoughts until the last spark of my love for you lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind.
Olive: Eh, forget it.

Wouldn't it just rock and roll if liking someone meant they had to like you back? Of course that'd be a different universe and something else would probably suck.

Olive: There's no alarm system. Got a credit card?
Chuck: Why? You know how to pick locks?
Olive: No. You're gonna need to pay for the damages.

It’s from the Pie Hole from across the street, as in “Shut your.” But one sweet whiff and people usually want to “Open their.”

Oh, isn't it great we can joke? Now that we that we know that there's nothing going on between us and never was. It can be funny. I bet this sort of thing happens all the time between adults. Mixed romantic messages. In no time we'll be looking back and laugh until we wet the rug. Which we'll then want to shampoo. Couple times. Possibly three, depending on what we were drinking.

Olive: No, no. Five fingers. Five toes. Us Snooks are boring that way. I had a cousin with a third nipple. He'd let you see it for a dollar.
Vivian: How fascinating.
Lily: And a bargain, too.

Olive: Look carefully, ladies; this is your future.
Lily: Is it vodka?
Olive: Water.
Lily: As in Russian for vodka?

Pushing Daisies Quotes

Chuck: Do you believe in reincarnation?
Emerson: Hell no. The planet's falling apart. Right now, it's the children's problem. We reincarnate, it's our problem

Vivian: Charlotte was a nice girl.
Lily: With the exception of puberty.
Vivian: Which was when Lily was going through a change of life.
Lily: Impolite to talk about one's menopause in mixed company.