Oscar: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael: That marriage would be a sham.

Pam: Michael, she's perfect for you.
Oscar: She's the one.
Jim: She's amazing. This is very exciting.

Oscar: Go on. Kiss each other already.
Kevin: Suck it Oscar. This must kill you.

Michael: Holly and I are moving in together. Oscar this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love my friend.
Oscar: Are you kidding? I wasn't trying to break you guys up.
Kevin: Better luck next time pal!

Ryan: I don't wanna be married until everyone can be married.
Oscar: You know what Ryan? I talked to the other gay guys, and we're okay with it. We all agreed it's fine for you to get married.

Oscar: Sorry I yelled.
Pam: You could have just told us what you were thinking.
Oscar: There's no theater in that.

Robert seems great. He's very handsome, firm handshake, he's gay, good sense of humor.

Andy: It's like amateur hour.
Oscar: Well it was an amateur production, technically.

Oscar: If there's nothing wrong with this Michael, why have you been keeping it a secret?
Michael: Because I wanted you to come to me and say "Wow, he is so great" and I was gonna say "Well it's in the genes." And I was actually gonna be wearing jeans...and I'd point to them.

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