Oscar Martinez Quotes
Michael: Hey, alright! You know what clearly I'm outnumbered here but could I just say one thing? Please? What is so wrong about me. I'm caring. I'm generous. I'm sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness?
Phyllis: Good luck Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Oscar: Maybe you're right. Who are we to-
Pam: Shut up Oscar! What is wrong with all of you!? He is sleeping with my mother!
Dwight: I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on!
- Permalink: Hey, alright! You know what clearly I'm outnumbered here but cou...
Kevin: I wouldn't last in jail, Oscar, I'm not like you.
Oscar: What's that supposed to mean?
Kevin: Oh you don't know about jail? Oh you would LOVE jail.
Oscar: Why would I love jail.
Kevin: Because [pauses] you would love it.
- Permalink: I wouldn't last in jail, Oscar, I'm not like you. What's that ...
Kevin: What does a bean mean?
Pam: Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?
Kevin: Michael, what does a bean mean.
Jim: I was just trying to be unbiased.
Kevin: WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN.
Oscar: Would someone please explain to Kevin?
Meredith: Why can't you? My time is just as valuable as yours.
Phyllis: Not according to the beans.
- Permalink: What does a bean mean? Why aren't there any beans on this very...
Look it doesn't take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. [shakes head] Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be, without the popes.
- Permalink: Look it doesn't take a genius to know that every organization th...
Michael: I'm going in for a procedure today.
Oscar: Is everything ok?
Michael: Yeah. It's routine. I'm just a little bit scared.
Oscar: I'm sure everything will be fine. What's the procedure if you don't mind my asking?
Michael: It is a colonoscopy.
Michael: In your experience, what should I be expecting, in terms of sensation. Or, emotions. [pause] Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shandri? My main concern is should I have a safe word?
Oscar: Yeah. [leaves]
- Permalink: I'm going in for a procedure today. Is everything ok? Yeah. ...
Andy: Did you hear the rumor about me? That I'm gay?
Oscar: I did.
Andy: Do you think it's true?
Oscar: Are you attracted to other men?
Andy: No. But let me give you a scenario. I'm at a beach cabana. Brad Pitt comes up and tries to kiss me. I would definitely resist at first, but if he was persistent, I would probably give in a little bit, depending on how persistent he was ...
Oscar: If Brad Pitt tried to kiss you and you resisted, he would still have to get to you?
Andy: It's just a scenario.
- Permalink: Did you hear the rumor about me? That I'm gay? I did. Do you...
Meredith: Maybe we shouldn't play due to the circumstances.
Dwight: Hey, people need volleyball now more than ever.
Pam: How do you figure?
Dwight: Because if we don't play, then the other team wins.
Oscar: Dwight's right. Corporate deserves to get its ass kicked.
Pam: Let's do this.
- Permalink: Maybe we shouldn't play due to the circumstances. Hey, people ...
Andy: Yeah! I love the vibe down here.
Erin: Ashley! You made it!
Oscar: You invited someone?
Erin: Oh, yeah. Was I not allowed to do that?
Oscar: I've been here 8 years and I've never... [Erin walks away] Rude.
- Permalink: Yeah! I love the vibe down here. Ashley! You made it! You in...
Oscar: What happened to Phyllis?
Michael: Oh, you know. Nohting. She's - we were hanging out at Cafe Disco and she had a flare up of am existing injury. But she's a tough, old bird. So...
Angela: Can you please go back to work instead of masterminding these situations were in we hurt ourselves?
Michael: Ok. Phyllis did injure herself. But she injured herself having fun and I don't think she would trade that memory for anything.
- Permalink: What happened to Phyllis? Oh, you know. Nohting. She's - we we...