The Office

Oscar Martinez Quotes (Page 8)

Angela: Hello, everyone. Oh, ice cream. Nice, Kevin. Looks good.
Kevin: It... yeah.
Oscar: Angela, you're more chipper than usual.
Angela: I am proud to announce that there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic. She doesn't struggle when you try to dress her. She's a third-generation show cat. Her father was in 'Meet the Parents.' Needless to say, she was very, very expensive.
Meredith: How much?
Angela: Seven thousand dollars.
Creed: For a cat? I could get you a kid for that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Oscar: Two?
Kevin: (holding ice creams) I didn't eat lunch.
Oscar: (stares)
Kevin: I didn't eat ALL my lunch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: I consider myself a good person, but I'm gonna try to make him cry.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: Okay, it is time for the final votes. All of those in favor of resolution Hillary Swank is hot? [half of office raises hands] Okay. And all those opposed? [other half of office raises hands]
Kevin: This is ridiculous.
Oscar: That's the thing about debating, you're just going to get people more entrenched in the view they had in the first place.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: See that, the obvious symmetry of the face? That's a natural appeal of the scientific standard of coin aphelia, features that are a composite average of many features. Yes, she is attractive, but is not hot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kelly: There's Andy, he's in his car. You guys, what is he doing?
Phyllis: Why isn't Dwight turning around?
Oscar: The Prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour. He deserves the win.
Creed: Yeah.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: It's 4:10, I don't think he's gonna show.
Kevin: Oh come on, man! Believe in something.
 • Rating: Unrated

Meredith: I knew something bad was gonna happen today.
Oscar: You said that yesterday.
Meredith: Yeah, my neighbor got murdered.
 • Rating: Unrated

Angela: Kevin, you screwed this form up again. The amount owed goes at the top.
Kevin: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing something wrong. If I had, I would've admitted it, and stopped right away.
Angela: That's enough.
Kevin: Because I wouldn't want an innocent person, who doesn't know anything about the form... What?
Oscar: That was good. It's just ... at the end you weren't saying something that could also apply to the form.
Kevin: How about, "I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form?"
Oscar: There you go.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Oscar: We're back on the 5th, should we just do it then?
Michael: Can not do it then. Monthly dental appointment, soft teeth
Oscar: What about February 2nd?
Jim: Ah... would you want to do it on Groundhogs day?
Michael: No, no. I celebrate privately.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

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