See that, the obvious symmetry of the face? That's a natural appeal of the scientific standard of coin aphelia, features that are a composite average of many features. Yes, she is attractive, but is not hot.

Kelly: There's Andy, he's in his car. You guys, what is he doing?
Phyllis: Why isn't Dwight turning around?
Oscar: The Prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour. He deserves the win.
Creed: Yeah.

Oscar: It's 4:10, I don't think he's gonna show.
Kevin: Oh come on, man! Believe in something.

Meredith: I knew something bad was gonna happen today.
Oscar: You said that yesterday.
Meredith: Yeah, my neighbor got murdered.

Angela: Kevin, you screwed this form up again. The amount owed goes at the top.
Kevin: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing something wrong. If I had, I would've admitted it, and stopped right away.
Angela: That's enough.
Kevin: Because I wouldn't want an innocent person, who doesn't know anything about the form... What?
Oscar: That was good. It's just ... at the end you weren't saying something that could also apply to the form.
Kevin: How about, "I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form?"
Oscar: There you go.

Oscar: We're back on the 5th, should we just do it then?
Michael: Can not do it then. Monthly dental appointment, soft teeth
Oscar: What about February 2nd?
Jim: Ah... would you want to do it on Groundhogs day?
Michael: No, no. I celebrate privately.

Michael: It is a classic management tactic. You have two sides, a deadline, you know that neither of them are gonna concede. What you do is you put 'em in a room, and you just- Hey.
Pam: Hey.
Oscar: Hey, we're going with the chairs.
Michael: What?
Oscar: I just figured I'd rather have new chairs than nothing at all.
Pam: Thanks Michael.
Michael: Good work. I'm proud of you. [they leave] Mother-

Meredith: Jim, good for you, standing up to Pam like that.
Creed: The balls on you, man.
Oscar: So Michael, what do you think?
Michael: Why me?
Jim: You have to make the decision.

Oscar: Alright, well this is the overall budget for this fiscal year along the x-axis...
Michael: Yes.
Oscar: Right there.
Michael: There's the x-ax...icks.

Michael: Why don't you explain this to me like I'm five.
Oscar: Your mommy and daddy give you 10 dollars to open up a lemonade stand. So you go out and you buy cups and you buy lemons and you buy sugar. And now you find out that it only costs you nine dollars.
Michael: Ho-oh!
Oscar: So you have an extra dollar.
Michael: Yeah.
Oscar: So you can give that dollar back to mommy and daddy, but guess what? Next summer...
Michael: I'll be six.

Andy: That is just obnoxious.
Oscar: No kidding.
Pam: Yeah! Wait, what, the mess or the note?
Oscar: The note. So holier than thou.

Andy: Oh man, she is so pissed.
Oscar: Mmm.
Andy: She's taking us back to first base.
Oscar: What is first base with Angela?
Andy: I get to kiss her forehead... I had a good time hanging out this weekend.
Oscar: I had a good time too.
Andy: Wingman for life. WMFL.
Oscar: Thank you.
Andy: You up for a chest bump?
Oscar: No.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 126 in total

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

Pam: I actually might not go. Feeling kind of tired.
Meredith: Do you wanna make appletinis and watch Sex and the City at my place?
Pam: Oh, I don't know. I haven't decided. Yet.

x Close Ad