Season 5, Episode 26: "Casual Friday"
Michael: Oscar, what were you going to say?Oscar: Nothing. I didn't say anything.
Michael: All right.
Erin: Do I still have a job here?
Michael: Not important. Okay, alright. Yes. Yes, you have a job. Frankly, you have a job because Ryan and Pam are starting with us as salesmen.
Dwight: Wait, what?
Stanley: How is that going to work?
Michael: It's going to work very smoothly, because Pam and Ryan are bringing over a ton of clients from Michael Scott Paper Company and--
Phyllis: You mean the clients you stole from us.
Dwight: Yeah, aren't we getting those clients back?
Michael: No, you lost those clients.
Andy: I call foul, sir.
Michael: Okay.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 5, Episode 23: "The Michael Scott Paper Company"
Jim: Hey dude, you know what a "rundown" is?Oscar: Use it in a sentence.
Jim: "Uh, can you get this rundown for me?"
Oscar: Try another sentence.
Jim: "This rundown better be really good"?
Oscar: I don't know but it sounds like the rundown is really important.
Jim: Charles asked me to do this rundown of all my clients.
Oscar: Why don't you just ask him-
Jim: No. I can't. It was like, hours ago.
Oscar: What have you been doing?
Kevin: Try it in another sentence.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 5, Episode 21: "Two Weeks"
Oscar: And just like that. As mysteriously as he arrived, he was gone.• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Oscar: Most new businesses, they don't make a profit 'til at least two years. And then your margins will be razor thin. Best case scenario, you don't cut yourself a salary for at least 5 years. Can you go 5 years without a salary, Michael?
Michael: Okay.
Oscar: Five years?
Michael: Okay, hey, you already have the job. You don't have to convince me.
Oscar: It's just not prudent Michael.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Oscar: You put a note in my food?
Michael: I made it sterile.
Oscar: Just to say "sterile" doesn't make it so.
Michael: I am offering you the opportunity of a lifetime, Oscar. To come work for me.
Oscar: Do you have a business plan? A funding request? Market research, financials?
Michael: No, no no.
Oscar: You need those things.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Creed: [feeding coins into a vent] I think it's 75 cents.
Oscar: That's a lot.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Oscar: I love a good quitting story. It makes me feel like I have control over my own life. Gives me hope. Maybe I will have one of own someday. [laughs] But I dream... so...
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Michael: I had no idea when I got in that car and headed to New York I was going to quit. I got on that ramp and I thought two hours, two hours to go. Feeling good. Listen to some tunes. Should've peed before I left.
Kelly: Michael get to the good part.
Michael: Okay, so. I get up to the building, I get to the revolving door... broken! So I have to take the normal door.
Oscar: At least he is in the building.
Michael: No, No! I was so nervous it was the wrong building! I walked into the wrong building!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 5, Episode 19: "Golden Ticket"
Michael: May I have your attention please. I have an announcement. Mr. Dwight Schrute and I just returned from a wonderful stroll together and although I probably will never do it again, I had fun. I really had fun with my best friend, Dwight.Oscar: These aren't announcements.
Michael: Yes they are, you just don't care about the information.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories and whimsy, so -
Jim: So, well I lost a ton of money today and I have a mortgage, so I'm a little pissed too.
Michael: Thank you, Jim is with me.
Jim: Absolutely not, I'm mad at you.
Michael: Well you know what Jim? It is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist.
Creed: That's not why.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 89
