Meredith: I knew something bad was gonna happen today.Oscar: You said that yesterday.
Meredith: Yeah, my neighbor got murdered.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Angela: Kevin, you screwed this form up again. The amount owed goes at the top.
Kevin: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing something wrong. If I had, I would've admitted it, and stopped right away.
Angela: That's enough.
Kevin: Because I wouldn't want an innocent person, who doesn't know anything about the form... What?
Oscar: That was good. It's just ... at the end you weren't saying something that could also apply to the form.
Kevin: How about, "I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form?"
Oscar: There you go.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Oscar: We're back on the 5th, should we just do it then?
Michael: Can not do it then. Monthly dental appointment, soft teeth
Oscar: What about February 2nd?
Jim: Ah... would you want to do it on Groundhogs day?
Michael: No, no. I celebrate privately.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: It is a classic management tactic. You have two sides, a deadline, you know that neither of them are gonna concede. What you do is you put 'em in a room, and you just- Hey.
Pam: Hey.
Oscar: Hey, we're going with the chairs.
Michael: What?
Oscar: I just figured I'd rather have new chairs than nothing at all.
Pam: Thanks Michael.
Michael: Good work. I'm proud of you. [they leave] Mother-
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Meredith: Jim, good for you, standing up to Pam like that.
Creed: The balls on you, man.
Oscar: So Michael, what do you think?
Michael: Why me?
Jim: You have to make the decision.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Oscar: Alright, well this is the overall budget for this fiscal year along the x-axis...
Michael: Yes.
Oscar: Right there.
Michael: There's the x-ax...icks.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Why don't you explain this to me like I'm five.
Oscar: Your mommy and daddy give you 10 dollars to open up a lemonade stand. So you go out and you buy cups and you buy lemons and you buy sugar. And now you find out that it only costs you nine dollars.
Michael: Ho-oh!
Oscar: So you have an extra dollar.
Michael: Yeah.
Oscar: So you can give that dollar back to mommy and daddy, but guess what? Next summer...
Michael: I'll be six.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: That is just obnoxious.
Oscar: No kidding.
Pam: Yeah! Wait, what, the mess or the note?
Oscar: The note. So holier than thou.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: Oh man, she is so pissed.
Oscar: Mmm.
Andy: She's taking us back to first base.
Oscar: What is first base with Angela?
Andy: I get to kiss her forehead... I had a good time hanging out this weekend.
Oscar: I had a good time too.
Andy: Wingman for life. WMFL.
Oscar: Thank you.
Andy: You up for a chest bump?
Oscar: No.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Oscar: Hey, um... thanks for trying to hook me up.
Andy: You kidding me? It's what I do. Get the whole nine 'nards.
Oscar: I can't believe we called her up.
Andy: Totally! What. Who?
Oscar: Angela. I can't believe we called her up last night.
Andy: We called Angela?
Oscar: You... you called... you called her.
Andy: That was real?! I thought I dreamed that. Oh, God!
Oscar: Alright.
Andy: Oh, God!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 89
