Opal, you need flash cards to understand the alphabet.

Vanessa Bennett Cortlandt: Palmer, come on. It's a perfectly understandable concern. I mean, nobody knows what the future will hold. A meteor could drop on the Valley Inn tonight and kill us all.
Palmer Cortlandt: Well, that's a cheery thought.
Vanessa Bennett Cortlandt: Oh. And what would happen to Leo then?
Palmer Cortlandt: Well, he'd be dead. I mean, a meteor, you know.

Braden Lavery: Let me get this straight. You want me to seduce your niece.
Palmer Cortlandt: Well, that's putting it a little indelicately. I'd much prefer "court" or "romance", but whatever.

Palmer: Opal, you're one to talk. You really are. First of all, you consorted with drug dealers, and then you got arrested for assaulting one of them. How could I top that?
Opal: Has your memory receded along with your hairline?

Opal: You could have another heart attack if you're aggravated enough.
Palmer: Then leave, and save my life.

All My Children Quotes

Kings have jesters. Circuses have clowns. I have Mary.

Adam Chandler

[Kendall has given Zach a plane ticket to Haiti, where they can get divorced quickly]
Zach: You know what? This date's not going to work for me.
Kendall: Make it work.
Zach: Love to, but I can't.
Kendall: Well, what? Is there something going on at the casino? I mean, I can handle it.
Zach: No, I took the afternoon off.
Kendall: What's so important that you can't reschedule it?
Zach: I'm rearranging my sock drawer.
Kendall: Yeah.
Zach: No, it's serious business. I mean, I've got the gym socks touching the dress socks. It's a real mess. Anyway, we've got to reschedule this divorce thing.