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Opal, you need flash cards to understand the alphabet.

Vanessa Bennett Cortlandt: Palmer, come on. It's a perfectly understandable concern. I mean, nobody knows what the future will hold. A meteor could drop on the Valley Inn tonight and kill us all.
Palmer Cortlandt: Well, that's a cheery thought.
Vanessa Bennett Cortlandt: Oh. And what would happen to Leo then?
Palmer Cortlandt: Well, he'd be dead. I mean, a meteor, you know.

Braden Lavery: Let me get this straight. You want me to seduce your niece.
Palmer Cortlandt: Well, that's putting it a little indelicately. I'd much prefer "court" or "romance", but whatever.

Palmer: Opal, you're one to talk. You really are. First of all, you consorted with drug dealers, and then you got arrested for assaulting one of them. How could I top that?
Opal: Has your memory receded along with your hairline?

Opal: You could have another heart attack if you're aggravated enough.
Palmer: Then leave, and save my life.

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