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Pam: How's the elevator supposed to work with a gillion pounds of computers on it?!
Cheryl: Who am I, Elisha Otis?
- Permalink: How's the elevator supposed to work with a gillion pounds of com...
Cyril: Maybe I could kill that pesky old worm?
Pam: How you gonna do that? Disappoint it to death?
- Permalink: Maybe I could kill that pesky old worm? How you gonna do that?...
Pam: The identity of every single ISIS field agent is on there!
Archer: So what?
Malory: Because most secret agents don't tell every harlot from here to Hanoi that they ARE secret agents.
Archer: Then why be one?
- Permalink: The identity of every single ISIS field agent is on there! So ...
Archer: Pam, wait up! Get me drunk enough and i might have sex with you
Archer: No. It's a catch-22. The amount of alcohol I would need would literally kill me. But I do want to see how many pool balls you can stick in your mouth.
Pam: My record's three.
- Permalink: Pam, wait up! Get me drunk enough and i might have sex with you...
Pam: Can you explain compounding interest to Cheryl?
Cyril: Maybe if we had an infinite amount of time and she was some one else
- Permalink: Can you explain compounding interest to Cheryl? Maybe if we ha...
Krieger: Pam, if you're dumping stuff on the street, you can also dump these.
Pam: What is it?
Krieger: Shattered dreams.
Cheryl: Smells like rotten meat.
Krieger: Also, yes.
- Permalink: Pam, if you're dumping stuff on the street, you can also dump th...
The mochachino ones are the cutest. And I guess he'd be half gay too. Can you say, "best dancer ever!?"
- Permalink: The mochachno ones are the cutest. And I guess he'd be half gay...
Archer: Why do we have so many damn dolls in here?
Pam: For sexual harassment complaints so people can non-verbally indicate where stuff happened on their bodies.
Archer: That takes like one doll.
Pam: Not if there's ever a gang rape. (fingers crossed)
- Permalink: Why do we have so many damn dolls in here? For sexual harassme...
Cheryl: Why don't you go back to Jamaica?
Pam: A) Because I got deported.
- Permalink: Why don't you go back to Jamaica? A) Because I got deported.
(Lana's voice is heard on Intercom)
Lana: Hi, if any of you men want to have sex with me (Cyril gasps) Come to my office and take a number.
(A large crowd of men appear before Lana's office. With Pam shoving her way thru.)
Pam: You heard the lady! (holds up piece of paper with number one on it) Take a number!!
- Permalink: Hi, if any of you men want to have sex with me Come to my offic...
ISIS Agent: No.
ISIS Agent: No.
Pam: Have sex with me!
ISIS Agent: No.
ISIS Agent: No!
Pam: Gesturing with the dolphin hand-puppet towards his crotch
Aww, come on..
ISIS Agent: Pam...
Pam: Still in the dolphin voice
Nobody will ever know....
ISIS Agent: Yeah... I'd know.
- Permalink: No. Yes! No. Have sex with me! No. Please? No! Ges...
(Malory is Depressed because she thinks Sterling's Dead)
Malory: (Despondent) Bring me some posion Pam because I don't wish to live anymore! I'm dead inside...
Pam: (holding notice) Too, dead inside to read good news?
Malory: (overly dramatic) Is it my Obituary?
Pam: (smirking) Well, it's not that much good news.
Malory: (snarling) GIVE ME THAT, OAF!!
(looks at paper) OH MY GOD! Sterling! He's Alive!!
- Permalink: Bring me some posion Pam because I don't wish to live anymore! I...