Michael's been trying to get me and Jim to hang out with him ever since he started dating my mom. I don't know. I really hoped this thing would just die out, but today he's planning a birthday lunch for my mom and we have to go. No way out. No ... way ... out.

Michael: Surprise! As you can see, I turned the bagels from O's into C's, for Charles.
Charles: Thank you.
Michael: Took me all night.
Pam: This is what you did last night?

During the course of business, a copier goes though something called 'Normal wear and tear.'

Pam: It's hot in there. How's the naan?
Angela: Dry. You look like you were having fun.
Pam: I am. You should come dance with us.
Angela: I have to watch our shoes, so they don't get stolen. Who were you texting?
Pam: No one.

Pam: What's the rule about eating when people are in the bathroom?
Jim: I think if you ordered hot food you're allowed to eat.
Pam: Oh, damn. They've been in there for like 10 minutes.
Jim: Look at that. Bob ordered hot food.
Pam: Yes. And I think they gave him too many fries.
Jim: We should help him out.

Michael: Hey Pam, how would you like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some uh pigtails, little ah, halter top you could tie that up. And, you know, some little, just youthful for a change, just this once.
Pam: I don't think so Michael. Besides, I can't cheer against my fiancé.
Jim: I'll do it. Wear a little flouncy skirt if you want, and ...
Michael: Yeah i bet you would, just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad at sports way. I think that goes without saying.

I used to love coming here. The chicken parm is good, big part of my childhood. Oh! Maybe Michael will start dating that too.

Pam: My name is Deborah U. Taunt.
Andy: That's clever! Debutante!

I did it. I learned everything about this machine. I know all the buttons, even the inside ones. I know all the error messages. I could do a bound book, in plastic with offset colors. Which feels...

Charles: Jim. Pam.
Jim: Hey, how are you?
Pam: Hey Charles.
Charles: Nice day, huh?
Jim: Yeah.
Charles: Must be nice to get a rest from all your rest. [walks away]
Jim: I don't get it. He's not even my boss anymore.
Pam: Do you want me to beat him up for you?
Jim: No, I shouldn't have to ask you to do stuff like that. You should just do it.

Pam: Dwight! What are you doing? We've only been in here for like two seconds!
Dwight: I've got 56 ounces of fluid in my bladder and we have to establish a pee corner!

Bob: OK then.
Jim: So...
Bob: Where were we?
Phyllis: Bowling.
Pam: Yep, that, yeah.
Bob: You didn't eat much there Jimbo.
Jim: Oh initially I did.
Bob: Want some meat?
Phyllis: Oh sure, a little piece. Ooh, no mushroom though.
Bob: Forgot.
Phyllis: Yeah, thank you.

The Office Quotes

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

Michael (to Gabe)

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael