I know way too much about Andy's scrotum.

Pam: I love it.
Jim: You do?
Pam: Yeah, I love it!
Jim: Really?
Pam: I mean, you bought me a house!
Jim: Oh my God...
Pam: You bought me a house!
Jim: Yeah, I did.
Pam: Um, do we have to sleep in your parent's bedroom?
Jim: No, No, we'll just board that up. It'll be that weird spare room that people ask us about.
Pam: And the clown?
Jim: Yeah, I can't... really can't move him.

Michael: Hey Pam, how would you like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some uh pigtails, little ah, halter top you could tie that up. And, you know, some little, just youthful for a change, just this once.
Pam: I don't think so Michael. Besides, I can't cheer against my fiancé.
Jim: I'll do it. Wear a little flouncy skirt if you want, and ...
Michael: Yeah i bet you would, just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad at sports way. I think that goes without saying.

Creed: It's Creed. FYI I'm starting my own paper company, looking to poach some chumps. You in?
Pam: Yes.
Creed: Cool. Let's keep this on the QT okay? I want you to be a dead mama jama.

Pam: What time is it there?
Jim: What time is it here? Um, we're in the same time zone.
Pam: Uh, oh, yeah, right.
Jim: How far away did you think we were?
Pam: I don't know. It felt far.
Jim: Yeah.

Pam: Hey.
Jim: Hey.
Pam: Ugh.
Jim: Ugh.
Pam: Everything okay?
Jim: Oh yeah. Why?
Pam: Well you seem a little tired.
Jim: Oh. Yeah well, I guess there's been a couple late nights. Karen and I have been up talking.
Pam: You should get more sleep.
Jim: Yeah, I know I should.
Pam: Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep.
Jim: No, I'm sure you're right.
Pam: When I get eight hours, compared to like six hours, like, big difference.
Jim: Really?
Pam: Oh yeah. Gotta get your REM cycle going with the whole sleeping. Better than not.
Jim: Good advice Beesley. Thanks. See you out there.
Pam: Yeah. Don't fall asleep at your desk.

Michael: Pam, I have ideas on a daily basis. I know I do. I have a clear memory of telling people my ideas. Um, is there any chance that you wrote any of my ideas down? Like in a folder? A little idea folder?
Pam: Sorry.
Michael: That's unfortunate.

Michael: Hey Ryan? Could you get to that copy from before?
Ryan: Pam's better at that stuff.
Pam: That is so insulting.
Ryan: How is it insulting to say that you're good at something?
Pam: Because the thing your saying I'm good at, is pushing a big green button a bunch of times.
Ryan: I'm not judging it, it's like ... I could run GM but I couldn't fix a car. It's not saying one is better than the other.
Pam: Seriously? Because it sounds like one of those is better than the other.

Pam: [on phone] Yeah, that's no problem.
Michael: Pam?
Pam: [on phone] Sure. Uh huh.
Michael: Pam? Knock, knock.
Pam: I'm on the phone.
Michael: I know you are. Knock, knock.
Pam: [on phone] You can fax it over. Yeah, 5-7-0-5-5-5-0-1-
Michael: [at same time as Pam] 4-9-1-7-4-5-1
Pam: 0-1-7-5. Thank you. Bye, bye. [to Michael] It really makes us look unprofessional.
Michael: They would never know it was me doing it. Here we go, Knock, knock.
Pam: Who's there?
Michael: Buddha.
Pam: Buddha who?
Michael: [puts a slice of bread and stick of butter on Pam's desk] Buddha this bread for me, won't you?
Pam: Great.

Kelly: Are you all right? This must be so awful for you.
Pam: What do you mean?
Kelly: Well, this was supposed to be your wedding.
Pam: Oh, um, no, that's, um, it's actually fine.
Kelly: There's no way it's fine, I'm sorry. If I was you, I would just like freak out, and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant.
Pam: Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.

Pam: I was wrong too. I thought she was interested in you.
Michael: She suckered you too ... was it the cleavage.
Pam: Yeah, and the shoulder cutouts.

Dwight: You showed great leadership potential at the coal walk. Even if you did follow it with that embarrassing personal confession.
Pam: Thank you.
Dwight: I had to make Andy my number two. It's political, complicated, you wouldn't understand. I want you... to be Assistant Regional Manager.
Pam: Really?
Dwight: Well, in a sense. Although, publicly I am going to retain the Assistant Regional Manager position.
Pam: You will be your own assistant.
Dwight: Correct, I need someone I can trust. But I would also like the title... to be secretly applied to you. Just stripped of its pomp and frills.
Pam: Okay. So... you would be the Regional Manager, and the Assistant Regional Manager. Andy is your number two. I would be the Secret Assistant Regional Manager.
Dwight: Mmmmmm, let's call it Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Pam: Mm-hmm.
Dwight: Do you accept?
Pam: Absolutely, I do.

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy