I think you're a witch.

He finally has a story everyone wants to hear... and he knows it.

Always the padawan, never the jedi.

Dwight

Pam: You were way meaner to me than I was to you.
Andy: No I wasn't, okay? The very idea of us together made you burst out laughing like you just bit into an Adam Sandler jelly sandwich.

Pam: Maybe Angela would cheerlead.
Michael: Oh, yeah right.
Phyllis: I'll do it.
Michael: Oh, yuck, that's worse than you playing.

Dwight: I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on the penises? But that is a risk we have to take. Pam, you can draw, kind of, why don't you work with Phallus on drawing a picture of the exposer that I can post around the community.
Pam: Phallus?
Dwight: Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain.

Pam: Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full internet access.
Kevin: Wait, what?

Ryan: Okay, so you are not going to reveal in any way that we're broke.
Michael: Of course not.
Ryan: That we're having any problem at all.
Michael: Nope, nope, nope.
Pam: Just to reiterate, none of us is going to say anything that might indicate that we are going broke.
Michael: Right, right. There is no way in hell that I am going to say that we're broke.

She could've left a while ago. Most printer sales are done over the phone, Ms. Boob-shirt.

Today's a "Women in the Workplace" thing. Jan's coming in from corporate to talk to all the women about, um, I don't know what. But Michael's not allowed. She said that about five times.

Pam

Dwight: Pam and Karen! I am ordering you to cease and desist all party planning immediately.
Pam: You can't do that.
Dwight: As ranking number 3 in this office, I am ordering you to-
Andy: Ummm, I'm number 3.
Dwight: You're number 4.
Andy: Yeah, but I'm number 3.
Dwight: Uh, no.

Pam: If you wanna do something for the funeral...
Dwight: Yes, please.
Pam: Maybe you could play a song on your recorder.
Dwight: Excellent.
Pam: Do you have it with you?
Dwight: Always.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 349 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight
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