Michael: [hands Ryan a soda] There you are, my friend.
Ryan: Oh, thanks, man.
Michael: Pamela.
Pam: Thanks, Michael.
Michael: Yep.

Pam: [laughs] Boscov's at the Steamtown Mall?
Phyllis: It sure looked good on the mannequin.
Pam: Well, you have good taste.
Phyllis: Well, thanks. I sure wish I had more time to talk to my clients, though.
Pam: What?
Phyllis: Isn't that what you said to a bunch of my clients when you were stealing them? That I didn't have enough time for them?
Pam: Oh, I, um...
Phyllis: Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout.

Michael: Someone is returning! He started his own company, and now he's back. Who could it be? I'll give you a hint. He is a man. A man you have missed with all your heart. A man who has ruined all other men for you. Who is it?
Ryan: [whispering] Who is it?
Pam: [whispering] Who is it?
Michael: [whispering] It's Michael Scott. [applause; Michael jumps through sign] Hold it up. Conference room, five minutes.

Michael: Okay, then I want Pam back.
David: Uh, you already have a new receptionist-
Michael: Sales.
Pam: Thank you.
David: Pam's not a salesperson.
Michael: Yes, she is. At the Michael Scott Paper Company in its heyday.

David: So you've thought it over, yes, and you accept our offer. We can finally put this whole thing behind us? Hmm?
Michael: No.
Pam: Can you give us another minute please?
David: Yeah.
Charles: Oh, okay.
Pam: Michael.
Ryan: How could you do this to me, Michael? You just cost me $60,000.
Pam: Why are you assuming you'd get the whole thing?
Michael: It's a lot of money, okay. But we need money coming in every week. We need jobs. Wouldn't you rather have a fishing pole than a fish?
Ryan: I would rather have $60,000, honestly.

David: Okay, now I don't know that I can get this. I do have to go to the board for approval. How's about $60,000. Hmm? $60,0000. Michael?
Michael: [stutters] We'll have to talk-
Charles: What?
Ryan: We'll have to talk about this.
Pam: Mm-hmm.
Michael: Just amongst ourselves.
David: Okay, yes. Please take the room. Be right outside. Take your time.
Michael: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Pam: $60,000.
Michael: We are so rich.
Pam: Are you kidding me?

Michael: Oh, I'm really worried that I'm going to say it.
Pam: No, Michael.
Michael: Ah...
Ryan: No, man. You're- you're fine.
Pam: We have to come from a position of strength.
Michael: I'm good, I'm good.
Ryan: Just put it out of your mind.
Michael: It is. I'm good.

Ryan: Okay, so you are not going to reveal in any way that we're broke.
Michael: Of course not.
Ryan: That we're having any problem at all.
Michael: Nope, nope, nope.
Pam: Just to reiterate, none of us is going to say anything that might indicate that we are going broke.
Michael: Right, right. There is no way in hell that I am going to say that we're broke.

Michael: Did I ever tell you about the day that Steve Martin died?
Pam: Steve Martin's not dead, Michael.
Michael: I know. But I always thought that the day that he died would be the worst day of my life. I was wrong. It's this.

Jim : You're just out of business?
Pam: We have maybe a month. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Jim: Oh, yeah, well don't worry about it. We'll figure it out. We'll be okay.
Pam: That's what Michael said.

When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, You don't blame the child. He didn't know any better. You blame the 30-year-old woman who got in the passenger seat and said, "Drive, kid. I trust you."

Michael: How much can we afford to pay a delivery guy?
Financial Guy: Well, if these numbers you gave me are correct--
Michael: They are correct, sir.
Financial Guy: Then you can't afford to pay him anything.
Michael: Okay. A lame attempt at humor. Swing and a miss.
Financial Guy: Your prices are too low.
Michael: Lowest in town.
Financial Guy: Why do you think Staples and Dunder Mifflin can't match your prices?
Pam: Corporate greed?
Ryan: Look, our price model is fine. I reviewed the numbers myself. Over time with enough volume, we become profitable.
Financial Guy: Yeah, with a fixed cost pricing model that's correct.
Ryan: Yeah.

The Office Quotes

Jan: All right, well are you gonna take care of this?
Michael: Yeppers.
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers?"
Michael: I don't... remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
Michael: Yeesh...

Michael: I love you, Jan.
Jan: Okay.