Pam: Maybe we can put the box back together.
Dwight: Impossible. He opened it like an ape.

Michael: Heeeeeere's Santa! Hey little girl, what would you like for Christmas? Ooh, you have been a very naughty girl, I see.
Pam: Michael, we already have a Santa, Phyllis.
Michael: What the hell is going on?

Oscar and the warehouse guy! Go Oscar! Go gay warehouse guy!

Pam: So Santa, what can we expect from this party?
Phyllis: It's going to be a very jolly time if you've been good!
Creed: What if you've been bad?
Phyllis: Oh, then nothing but a lump of coal for you!
Creed: What if you've been really, really bad? Like more evil, and strictly wrong.
Jim: Okay, Creed, we covered it. Lump of coal.
Phyllis: Yeah ...

Phyllis: You didn't decorate it?
Jim: No.
Dwight: Exactly.
Jim: We didn't, because we think it'd be better to do it together.
Dwight: Everyone.
Andy: Why would you wrap it in a sheet, if you're not covering anything up?
Pam: Is it ... is it fake?
Jim: Pam!
Dwight: Yes, we are unveiling, an artificial tree, that will never die...
Jim: Yes.
Dwight: Like the spirit of Christmas!
Stanley: We're supposed to applaud you for taking a giant diaper off fake tree?
Dwight: This was a successful unveiling! Go back to work! Merry Christmas!

Yes, they're the only two gay guys I know. But they should be together.

Pam: Don't do the twirl.
Phyllis: Lose the twril.
Dwight: Twirl sucks!
Kevin: Michael, I hated the twirl.
Andy: Hate the twirl!
Michael: Okay, obviously I'm not going to do the twirl. I only did it because I nailed the wave.
Phyllis: Yeah, good. Don't do it.

Pam: I can't really imagine you yelling at anyone.
Jim: Oh I yell. You've heard me yell.
Pam: Oh okay. I've heard you exclaim? Like, the time you said, "Hey look! We parked over here!"
Jim: Well that was apple-picking day. There was no need to yell that day. I was just excited to find the car. Perfect end to a perfect day.
Pam: Well. You'll figure it out.

Jim: I gotta make an example out of him. Should I just fire him?
Pam: Can you actually fire people?
Jim: To be honest I don't know. But maybe I could just yell at him in front of people.

Andy: I'm so jealous right now.
Michael: Hey, you know who you shouldn't be jealous of. Yourself. Because you're invited, and you're invited, and you're invited, and you, you and you and you, and you--
Limo driver: Car seats eight.
Michael: What?
Limo driver: The car seats eight.
Michael: The limo seats eight.
Michael: Okay. Then Jim and Pam. And Ryan plus a guest.
Jim and Pam: No thanks.
Ryan: I'll use it when you're done.

Jim: Really?
Pam: [in character] It wasn't me. I ain't goin' down for this!
Jim: I want to go home.
Pam: Get the keys out of my purse and start the car.

Pam: I think Michael may have snapped.
Jim: Or maybe he's just stuck in character.
Pam: Which is worse? Snapped or stuck?
Jim: Both. They're both worse.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 349 in total

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

Pam: I actually might not go. Feeling kind of tired.
Meredith: Do you wanna make appletinis and watch Sex and the City at my place?
Pam: Oh, I don't know. I haven't decided. Yet.

x Close Ad