Pam: Good morning, Michael.Michael: Oh, no, no, no, no. I am not Michael. I am Willy Wonkaaaaa.
Pam: Good morning, Mr. Wonka, here are your messages.
Michael: Why thank you very much. [notices jelly beans] Oh, what are those? What are those? Tell me, please!
Pam: Jelly beans.
Michael: No, no, no. They are not just ordinary jelly beans little girl. These are extraordinary jelly beans!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: I need something to wipe my hand.
Pam: Now there's, there's butter on my desk.
Michael: That was helping. It was classic.
Dwight: I got a knock-knock joke.
Michael: No... God.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: [on phone] Yeah, that's no problem.
Michael: Pam?
Pam: [on phone] Sure. Uh huh.
Michael: Pam? Knock, knock.
Pam: I'm on the phone.
Michael: I know you are. Knock, knock.
Pam: [on phone] You can fax it over. Yeah, 5-7-0-5-5-5-0-1-
Michael: [at same time as Pam] 4-9-1-7-4-5-1
Pam: 0-1-7-5. Thank you. Bye, bye. [to Michael] It really makes us look unprofessional.
Michael: They would never know it was me doing it. Here we go, Knock, knock.
Pam: Who's there?
Michael: Buddha.
Pam: Buddha who?
Michael: [puts a slice of bread and stick of butter on Pam's desk] Buddha this bread for me, won't you?
Pam: Great.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Bob: OK then.
Jim: So...
Bob: Where were we?
Phyllis: Bowling.
Pam: Yep, that, yeah.
Bob: You didn't eat much there Jimbo.
Jim: Oh initially I did.
Bob: Want some meat?
Phyllis: Oh sure, a little piece. Ooh, no mushroom though.
Bob: Forgot.
Phyllis: Yeah, thank you.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: Here they come.
Pam: [looking up from stealing Bob's food] What?
Jim: No, just kidding. Seriously though, that's enough.
Pam: Well, you should cover it with the broccoli.
Jim: Oh great, I have to cover?
Pam: Do you think they dined and dashed?
Jim: Well they didn't dine so, yeah, maybe they just dashed.
Pam: I thought we were having a nice time.
Jim: We were.
Pam: Yeah.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: What's the rule about eating when people are in the bathroom?
Jim: I think if you ordered hot food you're allowed to eat.
Pam: Oh, damn. They've been in there for like 10 minutes.
Jim: Look at that. Bob ordered hot food.
Pam: Yes. And I think they gave him too many fries.
Jim: We should help him out.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: Jim uses a 6 pound ball.
Jim: That is a lie, that is a lie.
Pam: Yes, he bowled 5 frames with this pink sparkly thing until a little girl had to ask for her ball back.
Jim: But! That girl must've had monstrous hands because the holes fit.
Pam: No, you just have little dainty fingers.
Bob: Oh yeah. You can always model ladies' jewelry.
Jim: Nobody asked, Bob!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Bob: Everyone here who's bowled a 280 please raise your hand. [Bob does so]
Jim: No way, a 280?
Pam: Wow, that's impressive.
Phyllis: Okay. Now everyone here who's bowled under 70 raise their hand.
Jim: Yikes.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Phyllis: It is so nice to go out with another couple.
Pam: Anything to get out of that office.
Phyllis: I know.
Bob: I honestly don't know how you can work with that jackass, that other jackass, and that new jackass.
Phyllis: He's talking about Michael, Dwight, and Andy.
Jim: Yeah, I understood.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Phyllis: Hey, why don't you guys come have lunch with Bob and me? We'll take all afternoon. [whispering] Michael is terrified of Bob.
Pam: What do you think?
Jim: I have a lot of work to do this afternoon. Those mines aren't gonna sweep themselves.
Pam: We're in.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 283
