Lisbon: Swear on your life?
Jane: On your life even.

This man. He has a gun and he pointed it at me. He's very rude and that's not even counting the assault.

Why do they call it a kangaroo court? Are kangaroos especially unjust in comparison to other marsupials? Would wallabies be more judicious?

She does the detecting and I do the insulting.

Hightower: If you don't point that shotgun away from me, I swear I will use it to beat you like a rented mule.
Jane: Spoken like a true lunatic killer.

Not that I'm judging. Seeking revenge on men that are responsible for killing someone you loved. It's a hobby I like to dabble in myself.

You've been LaRoched haven't you?

Jane: You're really committed to keeping your temper contained. What's up with that?
Hightower: You're really committed to testing my temper. What's up with that?

Hightower: There was no reason to treat her disrespectfully.
Jane: I was probing her. There's a certain amount of disrespect necessary. It's like getting frisked at the airport.

Jane: Maybe he died of happiness. Too much natural beauty, it's the Stendhal syndrome.
Sheriff Hughes: No. He was shot in the head.
Jane: Oh well. Nevermind.

Jodie: What is he doing? Could you please control your man?
Jane: Oh trust me, she's tried.

Jane: Did you know that Nevada is both the marriage and divorce capital of the nation?
Lisbon: They should put that on a license plate.

The Mentalist Quotes

As they say, you can take the girl out of Chicago but you can't take the Chicago out of the girl.

Jane

You see how much better things turn out when you're honest with me.

Teresa Lisbon