The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPatty Bouvier Quotes
Patty: (to Marge) Your blood pressure is off the chart.
Selma: And I don't like this urine sample one bit.
Brad Goodman: Let's look at the rainbow. What's in there? Depression, insomnia, motor-mouth, darting eyes,indecisiveness, decisiveness, bossiness, uncontrollable falling down, geriatric profanity disorder or GPD, and chronic nagging...nagging...nagging... nagging...nagging.
Patty: (Punches TV) Sorry, it does that sometimes.
Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our Honeymoon!
Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now! Be honest.... (Patty's hand goes up)
Patty: Aaah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.
Patty: I can't believe Aunt Gladys is really gone.
Selma: Her legend will live forever.
Homer's Brain: Yeah. The legend of the dog-faced woman.
Homer: Legend of the dog-faced woman! Oh, that's good!
(Marge, Patty and Selma are clipping discount coupons.)
Patty: Buy three tubes of Mister Blister, get one free.
(The phone rings. Marge answers)
Marge: Hello. Yes? Oh my Lord!" (Hangs up) Homer's in the hospital, they think it's his heart!
Patty: Oh my God!
Selma: What?
Patty: Five cents off wax paper!
(Selma slaps her cheek in amazement)
(As a naked Homer runs past) There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.
Patty: When you do good, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?
Otto: Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick? I mean I don't want to offend you, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me; I'm open-minded.
Patty: (Dropping the green pen) We won't be needing this.
Patty: Ha, ha, ha.
Selma: What's so funny?
Patty: I was just thinking about the time Homer got his nose caught in the toaster.
Selma: We'll watch the tape tonight.
Otto: All right, yeah, so how did I do?
Patty: Well you failed every segment, and misspelled bus on your application.
Selma: What did I miss?
Patty: MacGyver was wearing a tank top!
Selma: Dang!
Sideshow Bob: Well Selma, I thought I was the only man in your life?
Selma: Sit down and shut up!
Marge: Thanks again for taking the children while I'm away.
Selma: Don't worry yourself.
Patty: We've got six months of maternity leave we're never going to use anyway.
Selma: Bart, you'll be sleeping with your Aunt Patty.
Bart: In your bed?
Patty: Uh huh, and I shall warn you, I'm told I snore.
