Penny: "50 cents off Vagisil"
Sheldon: Think of me when you apply it.
Penny: He's still mad at Leonard, huh?
Amy: Well, he's mad at you, too. He said you were the succubus that led his friend astray.
Penny: I don't know what succubus is, but it has "suck" in it, so that can't be good.
Leonard: I didn't tell Sheldon so we could have a few days alone.
Penny: Oh, that is so romantic.
Leonard: Uh, sure, that's why I did it.
Sheldon: Well, if it's any consolation, i'm sure Leonard's tormented every moment he's away from your warm embrace and cherry lips.
Sheldon: Oh, seriously?
Penny: You know what the worst part is?
Sheldon: That you're having to process your emotional pain without vodka?
Penny: No. Yeah....
Penny: I cannot believe we were missing that jerk.
Sheldon: You were.
Penny: I'm calling him.
Sheldon: Oh, goodie! Put him on speaker phone.
Raj: I haven't had a drink since last night.
Penny: You're talking to me.
Raj: I am. And, now I'm crying for a whole different reason.
Penny: I love you.
Leonard: I love you, too.
Penny: Oh gosh, Sheldon, the genius, is jealous of Leonard.
Sheldon: I'm not jealous. I'm just very unhappy that good things are happening for him and not happening for me.
Bernadette: You know, one of the things that helped me get through Howard being in space for so long was getting married before he left.
Penny: Bernadette, sweetie, shut up.
Penny: Oh, I don't know. Remember what happened when I took care of your goldfish?
Leonard: Well, flush Sheldon down the toilet and get me a new one.