Amy: You have to be the weirdest couple I know.
Penny: Really? You can't think of anyone weirder?
Amy: I can, [whispers] but she's sitting right there.
Sometimes I forget how smart you are.
Penny: You're unbelievable.
Sheldon: I know.
Amy: Looks like something used by Tinker Bell's gynecologist.
Penny: Who I hope for her sake is not Captain Hook.
Penny: I'm just a blonde monkey to you, aren't I?
Sheldon: You said it, not me.
Penny: We're keeping things, you know, homeostasis.
Amy: It's so cute when she tries.
Sheldon: Penny? Please don't hurt my friend.
Penny: That is the last thing I want to do.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Amy: Soon my upper lip will be the same fake blonde as my beautiful best friend.
Penny: Hey, this is my natural hair color - Now.
Leonard: I'm sorry! I did, I crossed a line I didn't mean to.
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out! People say weird things during sex all the time.
Penny: Okay, well they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is "Oh yeah, just like that." Not "will you marry me?"
Leonard: I'm sorry, just-just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, "Hey, baby, wanna go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?"
Howard: Tell her I'm really sorry. And if she doesn't want to marry me, I get it. But what I really want her to know is the guy that she is really disgusted by is the guy that I'm disgusted by, too. But, that guy doesn't exist anymore; he's gone. And the reason is because of her. So, if this relationship is over, let her know that she made me a better man, and tell her thank you.
Penny: Oh my god, Howard! That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And it came out of you.
Bernadette: I've actually been thinking I'm going to hyphenate: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz.
Penny: Nice. You know, you should totally get Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowksi-Wolowitz.com before someone snaps it up.
Bernadette: Howard already took are of it. Plus he set up our beautiful wedding website with cute little facts about our family histories. Do you know for a while, in Poland, my family and his family were neighbors.
Penny: Aww, that's cool.
Amy: No, it's not. I'll explain it to you later.
Penny: Why should I worry?
Leonard: Well, I don't know. It's a bachelor party, there could be strippers. Wouldn't that make you a little jealous?
Penny: Come on, Leonard, it's you. What's gonna happen? I mean, even if there was a stripper, all you'd do is avoid eye- contact and offer to help her kid with his homework.