The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory

Penny: Bat signal? What are you, some kind of nerd?
Leonard: Not some kind of nerd, I'm the king of nerds.
Penny: What does that mean?
Leonard: Uh, it means if anyone displeases me, I don't help them set up their printer.
Penny: You are so funny.
Leonard: Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off

Penny: You mean, like a date?
Leonard: Not like a date, a date.

Amy: Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met. Do you really think that another transparently manipul... Oh! It's a tiara! A tiara. I have a tiara! Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me.
Penny: You look beautiful
Amy: Of course I do. I'm a princess and this is my tiara.
Sheldon: You were right, the tiara was too much.

Sheldon: I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier that we were just looking at at Sears.
Penny: Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff.

Sheldon: Oh, I see why you're confused. No, her news sounded important, but what your forgetting is it was an achievement in the field of biology. That's all about yucky, squishy things.
Penny: Honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend. You have to at least try to be excited by the things she's excited by.
Sheldon: What if they simply don't excite me?
Penny: Well, just smile and think about koalas.

I feel just like Mother Teresa. Except for the virgin part. That ship sailed a long time ago.

Oh, terrific. High school quarterback against four mathletes.

Penny: Hi. Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?
Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Bernadette: Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?
Penny: Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend; she has a Sheldon.

Amy, little vixen. Just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester.

Leonard: No. You always picked and it was always the same. An hour and a half of beach houses in the rain until the woman turns around and realizes love was here all along.
Penny: But, come on, that was a great movie and it starts in ten minutes.

Penny: And,remember he's more afraid of you than you are of him.
Sheldon: That doesn't help.
Penny: No, I was talking to the bird.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 345 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

Professor Proton is dead?

Sheldon
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