Penny: Why did you get bongos?
Sheldon: Richard Feynman played bongos, I thought I would give that a try
Leonard: Richard Feynman was a physicist
Penny: It's three o'clock in the morning, I don't care if Richard Feynman was a purple leprechaun that lived in my butt!
Penny: Ok, what just happened?
Leonard: I don't know. Between you playing chess like Bobby Fischer, and Sheldon being ok with you in his spot, I'm guessing someone went back in time and changed the course of human events.
Penny: I use to cut my brother's hair. I could do it for you
Sheldon: I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk, but here in town we don't churn our own butter, we don't make dresses from gunny sacks, and sure-as-shootin don't get our hair cut by bottle blon..
Leonard: Sheldon be nice!
Amy: I'll let you in on a little secret. Originally, we were painted nude. But I had him add clothes cause I thought it was an unnecessary challenge to our heterosexuality.
Penny: Yeah, good call.
Amy: But, if you ever change your mind, all it would take is some warm, soapy water and a couple of sponges.
Penny: You're talking about the painting, right?
Amy: Goodnight, Painting Penny. Goodnight, Real Penny.
Penny: Goodnight, Real Amy.
Amy: You don't have to say goodnight to Painting Amy, because she's never leaving. Bernadette: Goodnight, Real Penny. Goodnight, Transvestite Penny.
Penny: It's kind of heavy
Bernadette: Too bad you're not as strong as the dude in the painting.
All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up. You sign anything she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man alive. If you let her go, there is no way you can ever find someone else -- speaking on behalf of all women, it is not going to happen; we had a meeting.
Penny: So you're saying if I became a famous movie star, we got married, you wouldn't sign a pre-nup?
Leonard: Absolutely not! If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids while you're on location cheating on me with Ryan Gosling ... then Leonard gots to get paid.
You know I'm a big believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you're in bed with him. That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother. That's how I told his brother the same thing.
Berndette: Oh, I don't know. I don't want to manipulate him with sex.
Penny: Oh, sweetie ... that's what sex is for.
Sheldon, that's not what girlfriends are for. Although, you don't use them for what they're for, so what do I know?
Howard: I got pretty exciting NASA news today. Next week I fly to Houston for orientation and zero-gravity elimination drills.
Penny: What does that mean?
Bernadette: He's gonna to learn to poop in space.
Howard: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
Raj: Maybe your nickname should be "Brown Dynamite."