Leonard: So, I've got a gunshot wound. That's pretty bad-ass.
Penny: No, you've got a Reebok with a gunshot wound and an ouchie on your pinky toe.
Penny: You mean like a beta test?
Leonard: Well, technically, this would be an alpha test. A beta test requires people that weren't involved in the development of the appli....
Penny: Seriously, do I not get credit for knowing beta test?
Leonard: No, absolutely you should.
Leonard: I missed you.
Penny: You see me all the time. You sure you don't just miss the sex?
Leonard: Well, yeah, the sex with you is pretty great. Have you ever tried it?
Penny: I have. You're not wrong.
Leonard: No, just you and me.
Penny: Have you thought this through?
Leonard: Yes, and I think we should go anyway.
Leonard: What are you afraid of?
Penny: Well, what if we do go out and I do something stupid and dump you again.
Leonard: What if I dump you?
Penny: [Scoffs] Come on, be serious.
Leonard: How does a miserable date end in sex?
Penny: I don't know, it's complicated.
Leonard: Well, I'm a pretty smart guy and right now my brain has dibs on the blood supply so give it a go.
Penny: Bat signal? What are you, some kind of nerd?
Leonard: Not some kind of nerd, I'm the king of nerds.
Penny: What does that mean?
Leonard: Uh, it means if anyone displeases me, I don't help them set up their printer.
Penny: You are so funny.
Leonard: Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off
Penny: You mean, like a date?
Leonard: Not like a date, a date.
Amy: Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met. Do you really think that another transparently manipul... Oh! It's a tiara! A tiara. I have a tiara! Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me.
Penny: You look beautiful
Amy: Of course I do. I'm a princess and this is my tiara.
Sheldon: You were right, the tiara was too much.
Sheldon: I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier that we were just looking at at Sears.
Penny: Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff.
Sheldon: Oh, I see why you're confused. No, her news sounded important, but what your forgetting is it was an achievement in the field of biology. That's all about yucky, squishy things.
Penny: Honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend. You have to at least try to be excited by the things she's excited by.
Sheldon: What if they simply don't excite me?
Penny: Well, just smile and think about koalas.
I feel just like Mother Teresa. Except for the virgin part. That ship sailed a long time ago.