(To a box of expensive shoes she's about to take back)
Penny: I'm sorry, shoes, but you have to go back.
Shoebox (Penny): But, Penny, we love you.
Penny: I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent.
Shoebox (Penny): But Penny, you look so good in us.
Penny: (To Amy) Damn it, the shoes are right!

Priya: They dressed up in leotards and goggles and called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers.
Penny: How old were they?
Priya: Not as old as you'd want them to be.

Sheldon: Do you know where the phrase jibber jabber comes from?
Penny: Oh my god, you're about to jibber jabber about "jibber jabber?"

Ooh, these are cute. Of course if I buy them, I'll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple.

Penny: All right, try thinking about this -- Sheldon and Amy had sex.
Raj: Shut your ass.

Today's the day a girl's finally going to touch you in your little special place.

You know, for the first couple of months, whenever I would take off my bra, he would giggle and say 'oh, boy, my breast friends!'

Penny [referring to Leonard]

He was robbed of a bunch of imaginary crap that's useful in a make-believe place.

Penny [referring to Sheldon]

Penny: Not knowing's part of the fun.
Sheldon: Was that the motto of your community college?

Penny: Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition that I thought was for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be porn.
Sheldon: Did you get the part?

Penny: Ooh I thought I smelled pizza.
Sheldon: That's remarkable. If pepperoni were an explosive substance, you could replace German Shepherds at our nation's airports.

Sheldon: She stiffed you?
Penny: I believe that's what he did to her.

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?