Penny: That's thinking ahead.
Sheldon: The alternative would be to think backwards.. and that's just remembering.
Penny: He wasn't intellectually stimulating enough.
Bernadette: Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?
Penny: Wouldn't help. Zack couldn't even spell NPR.
Penny: Okay, help me out here. How does an archeology professor get that good with a whip?
Wolowtiz: Maybe he took a class at the adult book store. That's how I learned.
Sometimes stuff just happens and there's nothing you can do about it. For example, Lisa Peterson hasn't talk to me since the eleventh grade because no matter how much you apologize you can't go back and un-dryhump someone's boyfriend.
Wolowitz: Would you have opened the door if you knew it was me?
Penny: Not since I found out the teddy bear you gave me had a webcam in it.
Penny: I hear you broke up with Amy.
Sheldon: Breakup would imply she was my girlfriend. She was a girl who was my friend who is now not my friend.
Penny: Wow, It's like the worst country song ever.
Penny: God, he's an ass when he drinks.
Wolowitz: He's an ass he doesn't. You just don't hear it.
I just run till I'm hungry, and then I stop for a bear claw.
Leonard: Penny, Steve Wozniack was one of the co-founders of Apple computer. He and Steve Jobs...
Penny: Yeah. I know who he is. I watch Dancing With the Stars.
Penny: Honey, have you ever run before?
Sheldon: Certainly. I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens and one particularly persistent PE teacher determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test.
Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Given your community college education, I encourage you to ask as many as possible.
Penny: OK. Well, then, there's a couple of things you should probably know.
Sheldon: I have a master's degree and two doctorates. The things I should know, I do know.