Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Sheldon: Yes, since their relationship became carnal, Penny has updated his designated term of endearment, distinguishing him from those she calls "sweetie," usually as an attempt to soften a thinly-veiled insult.
Penny: You're boring people, sweetie.
Sheldon: Although sometimes, she omits the veil entirely.

Penny: I give up, he's impossible
Sheldon: I can't be impossible, I exist. I believe what you meant to say is, "I give up, he's improbable."

Penny: I'll tell you what, next french toast day, I'll make you oatmeal
Sheldon: Good lord, are you still gonna be here next french toast day?

Oh man, did the KISS Army repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell?"

Penny [after seeing Wolowitz in his goth outfit]

Leonard: Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?
Penny: Because I like peppermint, and it's fun to say schnapps!

Penny: You know, I do understand what you're going through.
Sheldon: Really? Did you just have the Nobel Prize in Waitressing stolen from you?

Leonard [about snuggie gift]: what does this mean?
Penny: Wine, credit cards and late night television are a bad combination

Penny [to comic book store owner]: What would you recommend as a gift for a 13 year old boy?
Stuart: A thirteen year old girl

Penny [at comic book store]: Everyone's staring at me!
Leonard: Don't worry, they're more scared of you than you are of them
Penny: Unlikely

Wolowitz: According to Alicia's Facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI.
Penny: Dead whore on TV, live one in real life.

Penny: It looks like the MySpace page of a 13 year old girl
Leonard: No it doesn't
Wolowitz: Oh please, Dateline could use it to attract predators

Sheldon: You'll effectively be paying yor self 5.19 per day
Penny: A day??
Sheldon: There are children in sneaker factories in Indonesia that outearn you

Displaying quotes 253 - 264 of 343 in total

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

As soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. Okay, she can't hear.

Sheldon
×