Sheldon: Do you know where the phrase jibber jabber comes from?
Penny: Oh my god, you're about to jibber jabber about "jibber jabber?"

Ooh, these are cute. Of course if I buy them, I'll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple.

Penny: All right, try thinking about this -- Sheldon and Amy had sex.
Raj: Shut your ass.

Today's the day a girl's finally going to touch you in your little special place.

You know, for the first couple of months, whenever I would take off my bra, he would giggle and say 'oh, boy, my breast friends!'

Penny [referring to Leonard]

He was robbed of a bunch of imaginary crap that's useful in a make-believe place.

Penny [referring to Sheldon]

Penny: Not knowing's part of the fun.
Sheldon: Was that the motto of your community college?

Penny: Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition that I thought was for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be porn.
Sheldon: Did you get the part?

Penny: Ooh I thought I smelled pizza.
Sheldon: That's remarkable. If pepperoni were an explosive substance, you could replace German Shepherds at our nation's airports.

Sheldon: She stiffed you?
Penny: I believe that's what he did to her.

Good morning, slut.

Mrs. Cooper, hi, it's Penny. I think I broke your son.

TBBT Quotes

Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Raj's poem

Sheldon: I'll have a diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine... I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's... rum and Coke without the rum.
Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?