Penny: The real question is: What is he doing in your apartment?
Leonard: Oh, he was upset. So Sheldon invited him in for a hot beverage.
Penny: You were okay with that?
Leonard: No. I got upset! And Sheldon made me a hot beverage, too.

You know, maybe if fashion magazines had female scientists in them, I would've become a theoretical physicist. Stop smirking at each other.

Okay, what's the big deal? Look, if it helps me make a sale with a physician, I don't think it hurts to flirt a little. I mean, laugh at their joke, touch their arm, maybe crank up the AC in the car beforehand, you know, to wake up the girls.

Amy: Bernadette is a successful microbiologist. She should be celebrated for her achievements, not her looks. I mean, what kind of message does that send?
Penny: I think the message is -- "Check out the rack on that scientist."

Penny: What should I have done? Taken a picture of us in the car
and put it in a pink frame with puffy paint around it that says "best fiance ever"?
Leonard: Doesn't sound that bad.
Penny: Well, good, because... that's why I did!

Penny: Wait, hang on-- you guys are gonna work in a mine?
Sheldon: Why not?
Penny: You had a panic attack when we went through the car wash.

Penny: I hate her.
Emily: I hate her.

Penny: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a hook-up.
Emily: Did you kiss?
Penny: Yeah.
Emily: Were you naked?
Penny: Yeah.
Emily: So, it was a hook-up.

Is this when he says bazooka or something?

I know, watching your boyfriend run around with a broomstick between his legs isn't something you forget.

Okay, that's not what I meant when I said go outside and play

Amy: I'm stimulating the pleasures of this starfish. I just need to turn it off.
Penny: What happens if you don't?
Amy: Then I have to sit through lunch knowing this starfish is having a better day than I am.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Are you still mad about the sperm bank?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: Do you want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
Leonard: Not really.
Sheldon: If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters most people will trip.
Leonard: I don't care—two millimeters?! That doesn't seem right.
Sheldon: No, it's true! I did a series of experiments when I was twelve; my father broke his clavicle.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon